DAVID
COPPERFIELD
PART 39
CHAPTER 39. WICKFIELD AND HEEP
My aunt,
beginning, I imagine, to be made seriously uncomfortable by my prolonged
dejection, made a pretence of being anxious that I should go to Dover, to see
that all was working well at the cottage, which was let; and to conclude an
agreement, with the same tenant, for a longer term of occupation. Janet was
drafted into the service of Mrs. Strong, where I saw her every day. She had
been undecided, on leaving Dover, whether or no to give the finishing touch to
that renunciation of mankind in which she had been educated, by marrying a
pilot; but she decided against that venture. Not so much for the sake of
principle, I believe, as because she happened not to like him.
Although
it required an effort to leave Miss Mills, I fell rather willingly into my aunt's
pretence, as a means of enabling me to pass a few tranquil hours with Agnes. I
consulted the good Doctor relative to an absence of three days; and the Doctor
wishing me to take that relaxation,—he wished me to take more; but my energy
could not bear that,—I made up my mind to go.
As to the
Commons, I had no great occasion to be particular about my duties in that
quarter. To say the truth, we were getting in no very good odour among the
tip-top proctors, and were rapidly sliding down to but a doubtful position. The
business had been indifferent under Mr. jorkins, before Mr. Spenlow's time; and
although it had been quickened by the infusion of new blood, and by the display
which Mr. Spenlow made, still it was not established on a sufficiently strong
basis to bear, without being shaken, such a blow as the sudden loss of its
active manager. It fell off very much. Mr. jorkins, notwithstanding his
reputation in the firm, was an easy-going, incapable sort of man, whose
reputation out of doors was not calculated to back it up. I was turned over to
him now, and when I saw him take his snuff and let the business go, I regretted
my aunt's thousand pounds more than ever.
But this
was not the worst of it. There were a number of hangers-on and outsiders about
the Commons, who, without being proctors themselves, dabbled in common-form
business, and got it done by real proctors, who lent their names in
consideration of a share in the spoil;—and there were a good many of these too.
As our house now wanted business on any terms, we joined this noble band; and
threw out lures to the hangers-on and outsiders, to bring their business to us.
Marriage licences and small probates were what we all looked for, and what paid
us best; and the competition for these ran very high indeed. Kidnappers and
inveiglers were planted in all the avenues of entrance to the Commons, with
instructions to do their utmost to cut off all persons in mourning, and all
gentlemen with anything bashful in their appearance, and entice them to the
offices in which their respective employers were interested; which instructions
were so well observed, that I myself, before I was known by sight, was twice
hustled into the premises of our principal opponent. The conflicting interests
of these touting gentlemen being of a nature to irritate their feelings,
personal collisions took place; and the Commons was even scandalized by our
principal inveigler (who had formerly been in the wine trade, and afterwards in
the sworn brokery line) walking about for some days with a black eye. Any one
of these scouts used to think nothing of politely assisting an old lady in
black out of a vehicle, killing any proctor whom she inquired for, representing
his employer as the lawful successor and representative of that proctor, and bearing
the old lady off (sometimes greatly affected) to his employer's office. Many
captives were brought to me in this way. As to marriage licences, the
competition rose to such a pitch, that a shy gentleman in want of one, had
nothing to do but submit himself to the first inveigler, or be fought for, and
become the prey of the strongest. One of our clerks, who was an outsider, used,
in the height of this contest, to sit with his hat on, that he might be ready
to rush out and swear before a surrogate any victim who was brought in. The
system of inveigling continues, I believe, to this day. The last time I was in
the Commons, a civil able-bodied person in a white apron pounced out upon me
from a doorway, and whispering the word 'Marriage-licence' in my ear, was with
great difficulty prevented from taking me up in his arms and lifting me into a
proctor's. From this digression, let me proceed to Dover.
I found
everything in a satisfactory state at the cottage; and was enabled to gratify
my aunt exceedingly by reporting that the tenant inherited her feud, and waged
incessant war against donkeys. Having settled the little business I had to
transact there, and slept there one night, I walked on to Canterbury early in
the morning. It was now winter again; and the fresh, cold windy day, and the
sweeping downland, brightened up my hopes a little.
Coming
into Canterbury, I loitered through the old streets with a sober pleasure that
calmed my spirits, and eased my heart. There were the old signs, the old names
over the shops, the old people serving in them. It appeared so long, since I
had been a schoolboy there, that I wondered the place was so little changed,
until I reflected how little I was changed myself. Strange to say, that quiet
influence which was inseparable in my mind from Agnes, seemed to pervade even
the city where she dwelt. The venerable cathedral towers, and the old jackdaws
and rooks whose airy voices made them more retired than perfect silence would
have done; the battered gateways, one stuck full with statues, long thrown
down, and crumbled away, like the reverential pilgrims who had gazed upon them;
the still nooks, where the ivied growth of centuries crept over gabled ends and
ruined walls; the ancient houses, the pastoral landscape of field, orchard, and
garden; everywhere—on everything—I felt the same serener air, the same calm,
thoughtful, softening spirit.
Arrived
at Mr. Wickfield's house, I found, in the little lower room on the ground
floor, where Uriah Heep had been of old accustomed to sit, Mr. Micawber plying
his pen with great assiduity. He was dressed in a legal-looking suit of black,
and loomed, burly and large, in that small office.
Mr.
Micawber was extremely glad to see me, but a little confused too. He would have
conducted me immediately into the presence of Uriah, but I declined.
'I know
the house of old, you recollect,' said I, 'and will find my way upstairs. How
do you like the law, Mr. Micawber?'
'My dear
Copperfield,' he replied. 'To a man possessed of the higher imaginative powers,
the objection to legal studies is the amount of detail which they involve. Even
in our professional correspondence,' said Mr. Micawber, glancing at some
letters he was writing, 'the mind is not at liberty to soar to any exalted form
of expression. Still, it is a great pursuit. A great pursuit!'
He then
told me that he had become the tenant of Uriah Heep's old house; and that Mrs.
Micawber would be delighted to receive me, once more, under her own roof.
'It is
humble,' said Mr. Micawber, '—to quote a favourite expression of my friend
Heep; but it may prove the stepping-stone to more ambitious domiciliary
accommodation.'
I asked
him whether he had reason, so far, to be satisfied with his friend Heep's treatment
of him? He got up to ascertain if the door were close shut, before he replied,
in a lower voice:
'My dear
Copperfield, a man who labours under the pressure of pecuniary embarrassments,
is, with the generality of people, at a disadvantage. That disadvantage is not
diminished, when that pressure necessitates the drawing of stipendiary
emoluments, before those emoluments are strictly due and payable. All I can say
is, that my friend Heep has responded to appeals to which I need not more
particularly refer, in a manner calculated to redound equally to the honour of
his head, and of his heart.'
'I should
not have supposed him to be very free with his money either,' I observed.
'Pardon
me!' said Mr. Micawber, with an air of constraint, 'I speak of my friend Heep
as I have experience.'
'I am
glad your experience is so favourable,' I returned.
'You are
very obliging, my dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber; and hummed a tune.
'Do you
see much of Mr. Wickfield?' I asked, to change the subject.
'Not
much,' said Mr. Micawber, slightingly. 'Mr. Wickfield is, I dare say, a man of
very excellent intentions; but he is—in short, he is obsolete.'
'I am
afraid his partner seeks to make him so,' said I.
'My dear
Copperfield!' returned Mr. Micawber, after some uneasy evolutions on his stool,
'allow me to offer a remark! I am here, in a capacity of confidence. I am here,
in a position of trust. The discussion of some topics, even with Mrs. Micawber
herself (so long the partner of my various vicissitudes, and a woman of a
remarkable lucidity of intellect), is, I am led to consider, incompatible with
the functions now devolving on me. I would therefore take the liberty of
suggesting that in our friendly intercourse—which I trust will never be
disturbed!—we draw a line. On one side of this line,' said Mr. Micawber,
representing it on the desk with the office ruler, 'is the whole range of the
human intellect, with a trifling exception; on the other, IS that exception;
that is to say, the affairs of Messrs Wickfield and Heep, with all belonging
and appertaining thereunto. I trust I give no offence to the companion of my
youth, in submitting this proposition to his cooler judgement?'
Though I
saw an uneasy change in Mr. Micawber, which sat tightly on him, as if his new
duties were a misfit, I felt I had no right to be offended. My telling him so,
appeared to relieve him; and he shook hands with me.
'I am
charmed, Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'let me assure you, with Miss
Wickfield. She is a very superior young lady, of very remarkable attractions,
graces, and virtues. Upon my honour,' said Mr. Micawber, indefinitely kissing
his hand and bowing with his genteelest air, 'I do Homage to Miss Wickfield!
Hem!' 'I am glad of that, at least,' said I.
'If you
had not assured us, my dear Copperfield, on the occasion of that agreeable
afternoon we had the happiness of passing with you, that D. was your favourite
letter,' said Mr. Micawber, 'I should unquestionably have supposed that A. had
been so.'
We have
all some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally, of what we
are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a remote time—of our
having been surrounded, dim ages ago, by the same faces, objects, and
circumstances—of our knowing perfectly what will be said next, as if we
suddenly remembered it! I never had this mysterious impression more strongly in
my life, than before he uttered those words.
I took my
leave of Mr. Micawber, for the time, charging him with my best remembrances to
all at home. As I left him, resuming his stool and his pen, and rolling his
head in his stock, to get it into easier writing order, I clearly perceived
that there was something interposed between him and me, since he had come into
his new functions, which prevented our getting at each other as we used to do,
and quite altered the character of our intercourse.
There was
no one in the quaint old drawing-room, though it presented tokens of Mrs.
Heep's whereabouts. I looked into the room still belonging to Agnes, and saw
her sitting by the fire, at a pretty old-fashioned desk she had, writing.
My
darkening the light made her look up. What a pleasure to be the cause of that
bright change in her attentive face, and the object of that sweet regard and welcome!
'Ah,
Agnes!' said I, when we were sitting together, side by side; 'I have missed you
so much, lately!'
'Indeed?'
she replied. 'Again! And so soon?'
I shook
my head.
'I don't
know how it is, Agnes; I seem to want some faculty of mind that I ought to
have. You were so much in the habit of thinking for me, in the happy old days
here, and I came so naturally to you for counsel and support, that I really
think I have missed acquiring it.'
'And what
is it?' said Agnes, cheerfully.
'I don't
know what to call it,' I replied. 'I think I am earnest and persevering?'
'I am
sure of it,' said Agnes.
'And
patient, Agnes?' I inquired, with a little hesitation.
'Yes,'
returned Agnes, laughing. 'Pretty well.'
'And
yet,' said I, 'I get so miserable and worried, and am so unsteady and
irresolute in my power of assuring myself, that I know I must want—shall I call
it—reliance, of some kind?'
'Call it
so, if you will,' said Agnes.
'Well!' I
returned. 'See here! You come to London, I rely on you, and I have an object
and a course at once. I am driven out of it, I come here, and in a moment I
feel an altered person. The circumstances that distressed me are not changed,
since I came into this room; but an influence comes over me in that short
interval that alters me, oh, how much for the better! What is it? What is your
secret, Agnes?'
Her head
was bent down, looking at the fire.
'It's the
old story,' said I. 'Don't laugh, when I say it was always the same in little
things as it is in greater ones. My old troubles were nonsense, and now they
are serious; but whenever I have gone away from my adopted sister—'
Agnes
looked up—with such a Heavenly face!—and gave me her hand, which I kissed.
'Whenever
I have not had you, Agnes, to advise and approve in the beginning, I have
seemed to go wild, and to get into all sorts of difficulty. When I have come to
you, at last (as I have always done), I have come to peace and happiness. I
come home, now, like a tired traveller, and find such a blessed sense of rest!'
I felt so
deeply what I said, it affected me so sincerely, that my voice failed, and I
covered my face with my hand, and broke into tears. I write the truth. Whatever
contradictions and inconsistencies there were within me, as there are within so
many of us; whatever might have been so different, and so much better; whatever
I had done, in which I had perversely wandered away from the voice of my own
heart; I knew nothing of. I only knew that I was fervently in earnest, when I
felt the rest and peace of having Agnes near me.
In her
placid sisterly manner; with her beaming eyes; with her tender voice; and with
that sweet composure, which had long ago made the house that held her quite a
sacred place to me; she soon won me from this weakness, and led me on to tell
all that had happened since our last meeting.
'And
there is not another word to tell, Agnes,' said I, when I had made an end of my
confidence. 'Now, my reliance is on you.'
'But it
must not be on me, Trotwood,' returned Agnes, with a pleasant smile. 'It must
be on someone else.'
'On
Dora?' said I.
'Assuredly.'
'Why, I
have not mentioned, Agnes,' said I, a little embarrassed, 'that Dora is rather
difficult to—I would not, for the world, say, to rely upon, because she is the
soul of purity and truth—but rather difficult to—I hardly know how to express
it, really, Agnes. She is a timid little thing, and easily disturbed and frightened.
Some time ago, before her father's death, when I thought it right to mention to
her—but I'll tell you, if you will bear with me, how it was.'
Accordingly,
I told Agnes about my declaration of poverty, about the cookery-book, the
housekeeping accounts, and all the rest of it.
'Oh,
Trotwood!' she remonstrated, with a smile. 'Just your old headlong way! You
might have been in earnest in striving to get on in the world, without being so
very sudden with a timid, loving, inexperienced girl. Poor Dora!'
I never
heard such sweet forbearing kindness expressed in a voice, as she expressed in
making this reply. It was as if I had seen her admiringly and tenderly
embracing Dora, and tacitly reproving me, by her considerate protection, for my
hot haste in fluttering that little heart. It was as if I had seen Dora, in all
her fascinating artlessness, caressing Agnes, and thanking her, and coaxingly
appealing against me, and loving me with all her childish innocence.
I felt so
grateful to Agnes, and admired her so! I saw those two together, in a bright
perspective, such well-associated friends, each adorning the other so much!
'What
ought I to do then, Agnes?' I inquired, after looking at the fire a little
while. 'What would it be right to do?'
'I
think,' said Agnes, 'that the honourable course to take, would be to write to
those two ladies. Don't you think that any secret course is an unworthy one?'
'Yes. If
YOU think so,' said I.
'I am
poorly qualified to judge of such matters,' replied Agnes, with a modest
hesitation, 'but I certainly feel—in short, I feel that your being secret and
clandestine, is not being like yourself.'
'Like
myself, in the too high opinion you have of me, Agnes, I am afraid,' said I.
'Like
yourself, in the candour of your nature,' she returned; 'and therefore I would
write to those two ladies. I would relate, as plainly and as openly as
possible, all that has taken place; and I would ask their permission to visit
sometimes, at their house. Considering that you are young, and striving for a
place in life, I think it would be well to say that you would readily abide by
any conditions they might impose upon you. I would entreat them not to dismiss
your request, without a reference to Dora; and to discuss it with her when they
should think the time suitable. I would not be too vehement,' said Agnes,
gently, 'or propose too much. I would trust to my fidelity and perseverance—and
to Dora.'
'But if
they were to frighten Dora again, Agnes, by speaking to her,' said I. 'And if
Dora were to cry, and say nothing about me!'
'Is that
likely?' inquired Agnes, with the same sweet consideration in her face.
'God
bless her, she is as easily scared as a bird,' said I. 'It might be! Or if the
two Miss Spenlows (elderly ladies of that sort are odd characters sometimes)
should not be likely persons to address in that way!'
'I don't
think, Trotwood,' returned Agnes, raising her soft eyes to mine, 'I would
consider that. Perhaps it would be better only to consider whether it is right
to do this; and, if it is, to do it.'
I had no
longer any doubt on the subject. With a lightened heart, though with a profound
sense of the weighty importance of my task, I devoted the whole afternoon to
the composition of the draft of this letter; for which great purpose, Agnes
relinquished her desk to me. But first I went downstairs to see Mr. Wickfield
and Uriah Heep.
I found
Uriah in possession of a new, plaster-smelling office, built out in the garden;
looking extraordinarily mean, in the midst of a quantity of books and papers.
He received me in his usual fawning way, and pretended not to have heard of my
arrival from Mr. Micawber; a pretence I took the liberty of disbelieving. He
accompanied me into Mr. Wickfield's room, which was the shadow of its former
self—having been divested of a variety of conveniences, for the accommodation
of the new partner—and stood before the fire, warming his back, and shaving his
chin with his bony hand, while Mr. Wickfield and I exchanged greetings.
'You stay
with us, Trotwood, while you remain in Canterbury?' said Mr. Wickfield, not
without a glance at Uriah for his approval.
'Is there
room for me?' said I.
'I am
sure, Master Copperfield—I should say Mister, but the other comes so natural,'
said Uriah,—'I would turn out of your old room with pleasure, if it would be
agreeable.'
'No, no,'
said Mr. Wickfield. 'Why should you be inconvenienced? There's another room.
There's another room.' 'Oh, but you know,' returned Uriah, with a grin, 'I
should really be delighted!'
To cut
the matter short, I said I would have the other room or none at all; so it was
settled that I should have the other room; and, taking my leave of the firm
until dinner, I went upstairs again.
I had
hoped to have no other companion than Agnes. But Mrs. Heep had asked permission
to bring herself and her knitting near the fire, in that room; on pretence of
its having an aspect more favourable for her rheumatics, as the wind then was,
than the drawing-room or dining-parlour. Though I could almost have consigned
her to the mercies of the wind on the topmost pinnacle of the Cathedral,
without remorse, I made a virtue of necessity, and gave her a friendly
salutation.
'I'm
umbly thankful to you, sir,' said Mrs. Heep, in acknowledgement of my inquiries
concerning her health, 'but I'm only pretty well. I haven't much to boast of.
If I could see my Uriah well settled in life, I couldn't expect much more I
think. How do you think my Ury looking, sir?'
I thought
him looking as villainous as ever, and I replied that I saw no change in him.
'Oh,
don't you think he's changed?' said Mrs. Heep. 'There I must umbly beg leave to
differ from you. Don't you see a thinness in him?'
'Not more
than usual,' I replied.
'Don't
you though!' said Mrs. Heep. 'But you don't take notice of him with a mother's
eye!'
His
mother's eye was an evil eye to the rest of the world, I thought as it met
mine, howsoever affectionate to him; and I believe she and her son were devoted
to one another. It passed me, and went on to Agnes.
'Don't
YOU see a wasting and a wearing in him, Miss Wickfield?' inquired Mrs. Heep.
'No,'
said Agnes, quietly pursuing the work on which she was engaged. 'You are too
solicitous about him. He is very well.'
Mrs.
Heep, with a prodigious sniff, resumed her knitting.
She never
left off, or left us for a moment. I had arrived early in the day, and we had
still three or four hours before dinner; but she sat there, plying her
knitting-needles as monotonously as an hour-glass might have poured out its
sands. She sat on one side of the fire; I sat at the desk in front of it; a
little beyond me, on the other side, sat Agnes. Whensoever, slowly pondering
over my letter, I lifted up my eyes, and meeting the thoughtful face of Agnes,
saw it clear, and beam encouragement upon me, with its own angelic expression,
I was conscious presently of the evil eye passing me, and going on to her, and
coming back to me again, and dropping furtively upon the knitting. What the
knitting was, I don't know, not being learned in that art; but it looked like a
net; and as she worked away with those Chinese chopsticks of knitting-needles,
she showed in the firelight like an ill-looking enchantress, baulked as yet by
the radiant goodness opposite, but getting ready for a cast of her net by and
by.
At dinner
she maintained her watch, with the same unwinking eyes. After dinner, her son
took his turn; and when Mr. Wickfield, himself, and I were left alone together,
leered at me, and writhed until I could hardly bear it. In the drawing-room,
there was the mother knitting and watching again. All the time that Agnes sang
and played, the mother sat at the piano. Once she asked for a particular
ballad, which she said her Ury (who was yawning in a great chair) doted on; and
at intervals she looked round at him, and reported to Agnes that he was in
raptures with the music. But she hardly ever spoke—I question if she ever
did—without making some mention of him. It was evident to me that this was the
duty assigned to her.
This
lasted until bedtime. To have seen the mother and son, like two great bats
hanging over the whole house, and darkening it with their ugly forms, made me
so uncomfortable, that I would rather have remained downstairs, knitting and
all, than gone to bed. I hardly got any sleep. Next day the knitting and
watching began again, and lasted all day.
I had not
an opportunity of speaking to Agnes, for ten minutes. I could barely show her
my letter. I proposed to her to walk out with me; but Mrs. Heep repeatedly
complaining that she was worse, Agnes charitably remained within, to bear her
company. Towards the twilight I went out by myself, musing on what I ought to
do, and whether I was justified in withholding from Agnes, any longer, what
Uriah Heep had told me in London; for that began to trouble me again, very
much.
I had not
walked out far enough to be quite clear of the town, upon the Ramsgate road,
where there was a good path, when I was hailed, through the dust, by somebody
behind me. The shambling figure, and the scanty great-coat, were not to be
mistaken. I stopped, and Uriah Heep came up.
'Well?'
said I.
'How fast
you walk!' said he. 'My legs are pretty long, but you've given 'em quite a
job.'
'Where
are you going?' said I.
'I am
going with you, Master Copperfield, if you'll allow me the pleasure of a walk
with an old acquaintance.' Saying this, with a jerk of his body, which might
have been either propitiatory or derisive, he fell into step beside me.
'Uriah!'
said I, as civilly as I could, after a silence.
'Master
Copperfield!' said Uriah.
'To tell
you the truth (at which you will not be offended), I came Out to walk alone,
because I have had so much company.'
He looked
at me sideways, and said with his hardest grin, 'You mean mother.'
'Why yes,
I do,' said I.
'Ah! But
you know we're so very umble,' he returned. 'And having such a knowledge of our
own umbleness, we must really take care that we're not pushed to the wall by
them as isn't umble. All stratagems are fair in love, sir.'
Raising
his great hands until they touched his chin, he rubbed them softly, and softly
chuckled; looking as like a malevolent baboon, I thought, as anything human
could look.
'You
see,' he said, still hugging himself in that unpleasant way, and shaking his
head at me, 'you're quite a dangerous rival, Master Copperfield. You always
was, you know.'
'Do you
set a watch upon Miss Wickfield, and make her home no home, because of me?'
said I.
'Oh!
Master Copperfield! Those are very arsh words,' he replied.
'Put my
meaning into any words you like,' said I. 'You know what it is, Uriah, as well
as I do.'
'Oh no!
You must put it into words,' he said. 'Oh, really! I couldn't myself.'
'Do you
suppose,' said I, constraining myself to be very temperate and quiet with him,
on account of Agnes, 'that I regard Miss Wickfield otherwise than as a very
dear sister?'
'Well,
Master Copperfield,' he replied, 'you perceive I am not bound to answer that
question. You may not, you know. But then, you see, you may!'
Anything
to equal the low cunning of his visage, and of his shadowless eyes without the
ghost of an eyelash, I never saw.
'Come
then!' said I. 'For the sake of Miss Wickfield—'
'My
Agnes!' he exclaimed, with a sickly, angular contortion of himself. 'Would you
be so good as call her Agnes, Master Copperfield!'
'For the
sake of Agnes Wickfield—Heaven bless her!'
'Thank
you for that blessing, Master Copperfield!'he interposed.
'I will
tell you what I should, under any other circumstances, as soon have thought of
telling to—Jack Ketch.'
'To who,
sir?' said Uriah, stretching out his neck, and shading his ear with his hand.
'To the
hangman,' I returned. 'The most unlikely person I could think of,'—though his
own face had suggested the allusion quite as a natural sequence. 'I am engaged
to another young lady. I hope that contents you.'
'Upon
your soul?' said Uriah.
I was
about indignantly to give my assertion the confirmation he required, when he
caught hold of my hand, and gave it a squeeze.
'Oh,
Master Copperfield!' he said. 'If you had only had the condescension to return
my confidence when I poured out the fulness of my art, the night I put you so
much out of the way by sleeping before your sitting-room fire, I never should
have doubted you. As it is, I'm sure I'll take off mother directly, and only
too appy. I know you'll excuse the precautions of affection, won't you? What a
pity, Master Copperfield, that you didn't condescend to return my confidence!
I'm sure I gave you every opportunity. But you never have condescended to me,
as much as I could have wished. I know you have never liked me, as I have liked
you!'
All this
time he was squeezing my hand with his damp fishy fingers, while I made every
effort I decently could to get it away. But I was quite unsuccessful. He drew
it under the sleeve of his mulberry-coloured great-coat, and I walked on,
almost upon compulsion, arm-in-arm with him.
'Shall we
turn?' said Uriah, by and by wheeling me face about towards the town, on which
the early moon was now shining, silvering the distant windows.
'Before
we leave the subject, you ought to understand,' said I, breaking a pretty long
silence, 'that I believe Agnes Wickfield to be as far above you, and as far
removed from all your aspirations, as that moon herself!'
'Peaceful!
Ain't she!' said Uriah. 'Very! Now confess, Master Copperfield, that you
haven't liked me quite as I have liked you. All along you've thought me too
umble now, I shouldn't wonder?'
'I am not
fond of professions of humility,' I returned, 'or professions of anything
else.' 'There now!' said Uriah, looking flabby and lead-coloured in the
moonlight. 'Didn't I know it! But how little you think of the rightful
umbleness of a person in my station, Master Copperfield! Father and me was both
brought up at a foundation school for boys; and mother, she was likewise
brought up at a public, sort of charitable, establishment. They taught us all a
deal of umbleness—not much else that I know of, from morning to night. We was
to be umble to this person, and umble to that; and to pull off our caps here,
and to make bows there; and always to know our place, and abase ourselves
before our betters. And we had such a lot of betters! Father got the
monitor-medal by being umble. So did I. Father got made a sexton by being
umble. He had the character, among the gentlefolks, of being such a
well-behaved man, that they were determined to bring him in. "Be umble,
Uriah," says father to me, "and you'll get on. It was what was always
being dinned into you and me at school; it's what goes down best. Be
umble," says father, "and you'll do!" And really it ain't done
bad!'
It was
the first time it had ever occurred to me, that this detestable cant of false
humility might have originated out of the Heep family. I had seen the harvest,
but had never thought of the seed.
'When I
was quite a young boy,' said Uriah, 'I got to know what umbleness did, and I
took to it. I ate umble pie with an appetite. I stopped at the umble point of
my learning, and says I, "Hold hard!" When you offered to teach me
Latin, I knew better. "People like to be above you," says father,
"keep yourself down." I am very umble to the present moment, Master
Copperfield, but I've got a little power!'
And he
said all this—I knew, as I saw his face in the moonlight—that I might
understand he was resolved to recompense himself by using his power. I had
never doubted his meanness, his craft and malice; but I fully comprehended now,
for the first time, what a base, unrelenting, and revengeful spirit, must have
been engendered by this early, and this long, suppression.
His
account of himself was so far attended with an agreeable result, that it led to
his withdrawing his hand in order that he might have another hug of himself
under the chin. Once apart from him, I was determined to keep apart; and we
walked back, side by side, saying very little more by the way. Whether his
spirits were elevated by the communication I had made to him, or by his having
indulged in this retrospect, I don't know; but they were raised by some
influence. He talked more at dinner than was usual with him; asked his mother
(off duty, from the moment of our re-entering the house) whether he was not
growing too old for a bachelor; and once looked at Agnes so, that I would have
given all I had, for leave to knock him down.
When we
three males were left alone after dinner, he got into a more adventurous state.
He had taken little or no wine; and I presume it was the mere insolence of
triumph that was upon him, flushed perhaps by the temptation my presence
furnished to its exhibition.
I had
observed yesterday, that he tried to entice Mr. Wickfield to drink; and,
interpreting the look which Agnes had given me as she went out, had limited
myself to one glass, and then proposed that we should follow her. I would have
done so again today; but Uriah was too quick for me.
'We
seldom see our present visitor, sir,' he said, addressing Mr. Wickfield,
sitting, such a contrast to him, at the end of the table, 'and I should propose
to give him welcome in another glass or two of wine, if you have no objections.
Mr. Copperfield, your elth and appiness!'
I was
obliged to make a show of taking the hand he stretched across to me; and then,
with very different emotions, I took the hand of the broken gentleman, his
partner.
'Come,
fellow-partner,' said Uriah, 'if I may take the liberty,—now, suppose you give
us something or another appropriate to Copperfield!'
I pass
over Mr. Wickfield's proposing my aunt, his proposing Mr. Dick, his proposing
Doctors' Commons, his proposing Uriah, his drinking everything twice; his
consciousness of his own weakness, the ineffectual effort that he made against
it; the struggle between his shame in Uriah's deportment, and his desire to
conciliate him; the manifest exultation with which Uriah twisted and turned,
and held him up before me. It made me sick at heart to see, and my hand recoils
from writing it.
'Come,
fellow-partner!' said Uriah, at last, 'I'll give you another one, and I umbly
ask for bumpers, seeing I intend to make it the divinest of her sex.'
Her
father had his empty glass in his hand. I saw him set it down, look at the
picture she was so like, put his hand to his forehead, and shrink back in his
elbow-chair.
'I'm an
umble individual to give you her elth,' proceeded Uriah, 'but I admire—adore
her.'
No
physical pain that her father's grey head could have borne, I think, could have
been more terrible to me, than the mental endurance I saw compressed now within
both his hands.
'Agnes,'
said Uriah, either not regarding him, or not knowing what the nature of his
action was, 'Agnes Wickfield is, I am safe to say, the divinest of her sex. May
I speak out, among friends? To be her father is a proud distinction, but to be
her usband—'
Spare me
from ever again hearing such a cry, as that with which her father rose up from
the table! 'What's the matter?' said Uriah, turning of a deadly colour. 'You
are not gone mad, after all, Mr. Wickfield, I hope? If I say I've an ambition
to make your Agnes my Agnes, I have as good a right to it as another man. I
have a better right to it than any other man!'
I had my
arms round Mr. Wickfield, imploring him by everything that I could think of,
oftenest of all by his love for Agnes, to calm himself a little. He was mad for
the moment; tearing out his hair, beating his head, trying to force me from
him, and to force himself from me, not answering a word, not looking at or
seeing anyone; blindly striving for he knew not what, his face all staring and
distorted—a frightful spectacle.
I
conjured him, incoherently, but in the most impassioned manner, not to abandon
himself to this wildness, but to hear me. I besought him to think of Agnes, to
connect me with Agnes, to recollect how Agnes and I had grown up together, how
I honoured her and loved her, how she was his pride and joy. I tried to bring
her idea before him in any form; I even reproached him with not having firmness
to spare her the knowledge of such a scene as this. I may have effected something,
or his wildness may have spent itself; but by degrees he struggled less, and
began to look at me—strangely at first, then with recognition in his eyes. At
length he said, 'I know, Trotwood! My darling child and you—I know! But look at
him!'
He
pointed to Uriah, pale and glowering in a corner, evidently very much out in
his calculations, and taken by surprise.
'Look at
my torturer,' he replied. 'Before him I have step by step abandoned name and
reputation, peace and quiet, house and home.'
'I have
kept your name and reputation for you, and your peace and quiet, and your house
and home too,' said Uriah, with a sulky, hurried, defeated air of compromise.
'Don't be foolish, Mr. Wickfield. If I have gone a little beyond what you were
prepared for, I can go back, I suppose? There's no harm done.'
'I looked
for single motives in everyone,' said Mr. Wickfield, and I was satisfied I had
bound him to me by motives of interest. But see what he is—oh, see what he is!'
'You had
better stop him, Copperfield, if you can,' cried Uriah, with his long
forefinger pointing towards me. 'He'll say something presently—mind you!—he'll
be sorry to have said afterwards, and you'll be sorry to have heard!'
'I'll say
anything!' cried Mr. Wickfield, with a desperate air. 'Why should I not be in
all the world's power if I am in yours?'
'Mind! I
tell you!' said Uriah, continuing to warn me. 'If you don't stop his mouth,
you're not his friend! Why shouldn't you be in all the world's power, Mr.
Wickfield? Because you have got a daughter. You and me know what we know, don't
we? Let sleeping dogs lie—who wants to rouse 'em? I don't. Can't you see I am
as umble as I can be? I tell you, if I've gone too far, I'm sorry. What would
you have, sir?'
'Oh,
Trotwood, Trotwood!'exclaimed Mr. Wickfield, wringing his hands. 'What I have
come down to be, since I first saw you in this house! I was on my downward way
then, but the dreary, dreary road I have traversed since! Weak indulgence has
ruined me. Indulgence in remembrance, and indulgence in forgetfulness. My
natural grief for my child's mother turned to disease; my natural love for my
child turned to disease. I have infected everything I touched. I have brought
misery on what I dearly love, I know—you know! I thought it possible that I could
truly love one creature in the world, and not love the rest; I thought it
possible that I could truly mourn for one creature gone out of the world, and
not have some part in the grief of all who mourned. Thus the lessons of my life
have been perverted! I have preyed on my own morbid coward heart, and it has
preyed on me. Sordid in my grief, sordid in my love, sordid in my miserable
escape from the darker side of both, oh see the ruin I am, and hate me, shun
me!'
He
dropped into a chair, and weakly sobbed. The excitement into which he had been
roused was leaving him. Uriah came out of his corner.
'I don't
know all I have done, in my fatuity,' said Mr. Wickfield, putting out his
hands, as if to deprecate my condemnation. 'He knows best,' meaning Uriah Heep,
'for he has always been at my elbow, whispering me. You see the millstone that
he is about my neck. You find him in my house, you find him in my business. You
heard him, but a little time ago. What need have I to say more!'
'You
haven't need to say so much, nor half so much, nor anything at all,' observed
Uriah, half defiant, and half fawning. 'You wouldn't have took it up so, if it
hadn't been for the wine. You'll think better of it tomorrow, sir. If I have
said too much, or more than I meant, what of it? I haven't stood by it!'
The door
opened, and Agnes, gliding in, without a vestige of colour in her face, put her
arm round his neck, and steadily said, 'Papa, you are not well. Come with me!'
He laid
his head upon her shoulder, as if he were oppressed with heavy shame, and went
out with her. Her eyes met mine for but an instant, yet I saw how much she knew
of what had passed.
'I didn't
expect he'd cut up so rough, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah. 'But it's
nothing. I'll be friends with him tomorrow. It's for his good. I'm umbly
anxious for his good.'
I gave
him no answer, and went upstairs into the quiet room where Agnes had so often
sat beside me at my books. Nobody came near me until late at night. I took up a
book, and tried to read. I heard the clocks strike twelve, and was still
reading, without knowing what I read, when Agnes touched me.
'You will
be going early in the morning, Trotwood! Let us say good-bye, now!'
She had
been weeping, but her face then was so calm and beautiful!
'Heaven
bless you!' she said, giving me her hand.
'Dearest
Agnes!' I returned, 'I see you ask me not to speak of tonight—but is there
nothing to be done?'
'There is
God to trust in!' she replied.
'Can I do
nothing—I, who come to you with my poor sorrows?'
'And make
mine so much lighter,' she replied. 'Dear Trotwood, no!'
'Dear
Agnes,' I said, 'it is presumptuous for me, who am so poor in all in which you
are so rich—goodness, resolution, all noble qualities—to doubt or direct you;
but you know how much I love you, and how much I owe you. You will never
sacrifice yourself to a mistaken sense of duty, Agnes?'
More
agitated for a moment than I had ever seen her, she took her hands from me, and
moved a step back.
'Say you
have no such thought, dear Agnes! Much more than sister! Think of the priceless
gift of such a heart as yours, of such a love as yours!'
Oh! long,
long afterwards, I saw that face rise up before me, with its momentary look,
not wondering, not accusing, not regretting. Oh, long, long afterwards, I saw
that look subside, as it did now, into the lovely smile, with which she told me
she had no fear for herself—I need have none for her—and parted from me by the
name of Brother, and was gone!
It was
dark in the morning, when I got upon the coach at the inn door. The day was
just breaking when we were about to start, and then, as I sat thinking of her,
came struggling up the coach side, through the mingled day and night, Uriah's
head.
'Copperfield!'
said he, in a croaking whisper, as he hung by the iron on the roof, 'I thought
you'd be glad to hear before you went off, that there are no squares broke
between us. I've been into his room already, and we've made it all smooth. Why,
though I'm umble, I'm useful to him, you know; and he understands his interest
when he isn't in liquor! What an agreeable man he is, after all, Master
Copperfield!'
I obliged
myself to say that I was glad he had made his apology.
'Oh, to
be sure!' said Uriah. 'When a person's umble, you know, what's an apology? So
easy! I say! I suppose,' with a jerk, 'you have sometimes plucked a pear before
it was ripe, Master Copperfield?'
'I
suppose I have,' I replied.
'I did
that last night,' said Uriah; 'but it'll ripen yet! It only wants attending to.
I can wait!'
Profuse
in his farewells, he got down again as the coachman got up. For anything I
know, he was eating something to keep the raw morning air out; but he made
motions with his mouth as if the pear were ripe already, and he were smacking
his lips over it.
To be continued