DAVID
COPPERFIELD
PART 14
CHAPTER 14. MY AUNT MAKES UP HER MIND ABOUT ME
On going
down in the morning, I found my aunt musing so profoundly over the breakfast
table, with her elbow on the tray, that the contents of the urn had overflowed
the teapot and were laying the whole table-cloth under water, when my entrance
put her meditations to flight. I felt sure that I had been the subject of her
reflections, and was more than ever anxious to know her intentions towards me.
Yet I dared not express my anxiety, lest it should give her offence.
My eyes,
however, not being so much under control as my tongue, were attracted towards
my aunt very often during breakfast. I never could look at her for a few moments
together but I found her looking at me—in an odd thoughtful manner, as if I
were an immense way off, instead of being on the other side of the small round
table. When she had finished her breakfast, my aunt very deliberately leaned
back in her chair, knitted her brows, folded her arms, and contemplated me at
her leisure, with such a fixedness of attention that I was quite overpowered by
embarrassment. Not having as yet finished my own breakfast, I attempted to hide
my confusion by proceeding with it; but my knife tumbled over my fork, my fork
tripped up my knife, I chipped bits of bacon a surprising height into the air
instead of cutting them for my own eating, and choked myself with my tea, which
persisted in going the wrong way instead of the right one, until I gave in
altogether, and sat blushing under my aunt's close scrutiny.
'Hallo!'
said my aunt, after a long time.
I looked
up, and met her sharp bright glance respectfully.
'I have
written to him,' said my aunt.
'To—?'
'To your
father-in-law,' said my aunt. 'I have sent him a letter that I'll trouble him
to attend to, or he and I will fall out, I can tell him!'
'Does he
know where I am, aunt?' I inquired, alarmed.
'I have
told him,' said my aunt, with a nod.
'Shall
I—be—given up to him?' I faltered.
'I don't
know,' said my aunt. 'We shall see.'
'Oh! I
can't think what I shall do,' I exclaimed, 'if I have to go back to Mr.
Murdstone!'
'I don't
know anything about it,' said my aunt, shaking her head. 'I can't say, I am
sure. We shall see.'
My
spirits sank under these words, and I became very downcast and heavy of heart.
My aunt, without appearing to take much heed of me, put on a coarse apron with
a bib, which she took out of the press; washed up the teacups with her own hands;
and, when everything was washed and set in the tray again, and the cloth folded
and put on the top of the whole, rang for Janet to remove it. She next swept up
the crumbs with a little broom (putting on a pair of gloves first), until there
did not appear to be one microscopic speck left on the carpet; next dusted and
arranged the room, which was dusted and arranged to a hair's breadth already.
When all these tasks were performed to her satisfaction, she took off the
gloves and apron, folded them up, put them in the particular corner of the
press from which they had been taken, brought out her work-box to her own table
in the open window, and sat down, with the green fan between her and the light,
to work.
'I wish
you'd go upstairs,' said my aunt, as she threaded her needle, 'and give my
compliments to Mr. Dick, and I'll be glad to know how he gets on with his
Memorial.'
I rose
with all alacrity, to acquit myself of this commission.
'I
suppose,' said my aunt, eyeing me as narrowly as she had eyed the needle in
threading it, 'you think Mr. Dick a short name, eh?'
'I
thought it was rather a short name, yesterday,' I confessed.
'You are
not to suppose that he hasn't got a longer name, if he chose to use it,' said
my aunt, with a loftier air. 'Babley—Mr. Richard Babley—that's the gentleman's
true name.'
I was
going to suggest, with a modest sense of my youth and the familiarity I had
been already guilty of, that I had better give him the full benefit of that
name, when my aunt went on to say:
'But
don't you call him by it, whatever you do. He can't bear his name. That's a
peculiarity of his. Though I don't know that it's much of a peculiarity,
either; for he has been ill-used enough, by some that bear it, to have a mortal
antipathy for it, Heaven knows. Mr. Dick is his name here, and everywhere else,
now—if he ever went anywhere else, which he don't. So take care, child, you
don't call him anything BUT Mr. Dick.'
I
promised to obey, and went upstairs with my message; thinking, as I went, that
if Mr. Dick had been working at his Memorial long, at the same rate as I had
seen him working at it, through the open door, when I came down, he was
probably getting on very well indeed. I found him still driving at it with a
long pen, and his head almost laid upon the paper. He was so intent upon it,
that I had ample leisure to observe the large paper kite in a corner, the
confusion of bundles of manuscript, the number of pens, and, above all, the
quantity of ink (which he seemed to have in, in half-gallon jars by the dozen),
before he observed my being present.
'Ha!
Phoebus!' said Mr. Dick, laying down his pen. 'How does the world go? I'll tell
you what,' he added, in a lower tone, 'I shouldn't wish it to be mentioned, but
it's a—' here he beckoned to me, and put his lips close to my ear—'it's a mad
world. Mad as Bedlam, boy!' said Mr. Dick, taking snuff from a round box on the
table, and laughing heartily.
Without
presuming to give my opinion on this question, I delivered my message.
'Well,'
said Mr. Dick, in answer, 'my compliments to her, and I—I believe I have made a
start. I think I have made a start,' said Mr. Dick, passing his hand among his
grey hair, and casting anything but a confident look at his manuscript. 'You
have been to school?'
'Yes,
sir,' I answered; 'for a short time.'
'Do you
recollect the date,' said Mr. Dick, looking earnestly at me, and taking up his
pen to note it down, 'when King Charles the First had his head cut off?' I said
I believed it happened in the year sixteen hundred and forty-nine.
'Well,'
returned Mr. Dick, scratching his ear with his pen, and looking dubiously at
me. 'So the books say; but I don't see how that can be. Because, if it was so
long ago, how could the people about him have made that mistake of putting some
of the trouble out of his head, after it was taken off, into mine?'
I was
very much surprised by the inquiry; but could give no information on this
point.
'It's
very strange,' said Mr. Dick, with a despondent look upon his papers, and with
his hand among his hair again, 'that I never can get that quite right. I never
can make that perfectly clear. But no matter, no matter!' he said cheerfully,
and rousing himself, 'there's time enough! My compliments to Miss Trotwood, I
am getting on very well indeed.'
I was
going away, when he directed my attention to the kite.
'What do
you think of that for a kite?' he said.
I
answered that it was a beautiful one. I should think it must have been as much
as seven feet high.
'I made
it. We'll go and fly it, you and I,' said Mr. Dick. 'Do you see this?'
He showed
me that it was covered with manuscript, very closely and laboriously written;
but so plainly, that as I looked along the lines, I thought I saw some allusion
to King Charles the First's head again, in one or two places.
'There's
plenty of string,' said Mr. Dick, 'and when it flies high, it takes the facts a
long way. That's my manner of diffusing 'em. I don't know where they may come
down. It's according to circumstances, and the wind, and so forth; but I take
my chance of that.'
His face
was so very mild and pleasant, and had something so reverend in it, though it
was hale and hearty, that I was not sure but that he was having a good-humoured
jest with me. So I laughed, and he laughed, and we parted the best friends
possible.
'Well,
child,' said my aunt, when I went downstairs. 'And what of Mr. Dick, this
morning?'
I
informed her that he sent his compliments, and was getting on very well indeed.
'What do
you think of him?' said my aunt.
I had
some shadowy idea of endeavouring to evade the question, by replying that I
thought him a very nice gentleman; but my aunt was not to be so put off, for
she laid her work down in her lap, and said, folding her hands upon it:
'Come!
Your sister Betsey Trotwood would have told me what she thought of anyone,
directly. Be as like your sister as you can, and speak out!'
'Is he—is
Mr. Dick—I ask because I don't know, aunt—is he at all out of his mind, then?'
I stammered; for I felt I was on dangerous ground.
'Not a
morsel,' said my aunt.
'Oh,
indeed!' I observed faintly.
'If there
is anything in the world,' said my aunt, with great decision and force of
manner, 'that Mr. Dick is not, it's that.'
I had nothing
better to offer, than another timid, 'Oh, indeed!'
'He has
been CALLED mad,' said my aunt. 'I have a selfish pleasure in saying he has
been called mad, or I should not have had the benefit of his society and advice
for these last ten years and upwards—in fact, ever since your sister, Betsey
Trotwood, disappointed me.'
'So long
as that?' I said.
'And nice
people they were, who had the audacity to call him mad,' pursued my aunt. 'Mr.
Dick is a sort of distant connexion of mine—it doesn't matter how; I needn't
enter into that. If it hadn't been for me, his own brother would have shut him
up for life. That's all.'
I am
afraid it was hypocritical in me, but seeing that my aunt felt strongly on the
subject, I tried to look as if I felt strongly too.
'A proud
fool!' said my aunt. 'Because his brother was a little eccentric—though he is
not half so eccentric as a good many people—he didn't like to have him visible
about his house, and sent him away to some private asylum-place: though he had
been left to his particular care by their deceased father, who thought him
almost a natural. And a wise man he must have been to think so! Mad himself, no
doubt.'
Again, as
my aunt looked quite convinced, I endeavoured to look quite convinced also.
'So I
stepped in,' said my aunt, 'and made him an offer. I said, "Your brother's
sane—a great deal more sane than you are, or ever will be, it is to be hoped.
Let him have his little income, and come and live with me. I am not afraid of
him, I am not proud, I am ready to take care of him, and shall not ill-treat
him as some people (besides the asylum-folks) have done." After a good
deal of squabbling,' said my aunt, 'I got him; and he has been here ever since.
He is the most friendly and amenable creature in existence; and as for
advice!—But nobody knows what that man's mind is, except myself.'
My aunt
smoothed her dress and shook her head, as if she smoothed defiance of the whole
world out of the one, and shook it out of the other.
'He had a
favourite sister,' said my aunt, 'a good creature, and very kind to him. But
she did what they all do—took a husband. And HE did what they all do—made her
wretched. It had such an effect upon the mind of Mr. Dick (that's not madness,
I hope!) that, combined with his fear of his brother, and his sense of his
unkindness, it threw him into a fever. That was before he came to me, but the
recollection of it is oppressive to him even now. Did he say anything to you
about King Charles the First, child?'
'Yes,
aunt.'
'Ah!'
said my aunt, rubbing her nose as if she were a little vexed. 'That's his
allegorical way of expressing it. He connects his illness with great
disturbance and agitation, naturally, and that's the figure, or the simile, or
whatever it's called, which he chooses to use. And why shouldn't he, if he
thinks proper!'
I said:
'Certainly, aunt.'
'It's not
a business-like way of speaking,' said my aunt, 'nor a worldly way. I am aware
of that; and that's the reason why I insist upon it, that there shan't be a word
about it in his Memorial.'
'Is it a
Memorial about his own history that he is writing, aunt?'
'Yes,
child,' said my aunt, rubbing her nose again. 'He is memorializing the Lord
Chancellor, or the Lord Somebody or other—one of those people, at all events,
who are paid to be memorialized—about his affairs. I suppose it will go in, one
of these days. He hasn't been able to draw it up yet, without introducing that
mode of expressing himself; but it don't signify; it keeps him employed.'
In fact,
I found out afterwards that Mr. Dick had been for upwards of ten years
endeavouring to keep King Charles the First out of the Memorial; but he had
been constantly getting into it, and was there now.
'I say
again,' said my aunt, 'nobody knows what that man's mind is except myself; and
he's the most amenable and friendly creature in existence. If he likes to fly a
kite sometimes, what of that! Franklin used to fly a kite. He was a Quaker, or
something of that sort, if I am not mistaken. And a Quaker flying a kite is a
much more ridiculous object than anybody else.'
If I
could have supposed that my aunt had recounted these particulars for my
especial behoof, and as a piece of confidence in me, I should have felt very
much distinguished, and should have augured favourably from such a mark of her
good opinion. But I could hardly help observing that she had launched into
them, chiefly because the question was raised in her own mind, and with very
little reference to me, though she had addressed herself to me in the absence
of anybody else.
At the
same time, I must say that the generosity of her championship of poor harmless
Mr. Dick, not only inspired my young breast with some selfish hope for myself,
but warmed it unselfishly towards her. I believe that I began to know that
there was something about my aunt, notwithstanding her many eccentricities and
odd humours, to be honoured and trusted in. Though she was just as sharp that
day as on the day before, and was in and out about the donkeys just as often,
and was thrown into a tremendous state of indignation, when a young man, going
by, ogled Janet at a window (which was one of the gravest misdemeanours that
could be committed against my aunt's dignity), she seemed to me to command more
of my respect, if not less of my fear.
The
anxiety I underwent, in the interval which necessarily elapsed before a reply
could be received to her letter to Mr. Murdstone, was extreme; but I made an
endeavour to suppress it, and to be as agreeable as I could in a quiet way,
both to my aunt and Mr. Dick. The latter and I would have gone out to fly the
great kite; but that I had still no other clothes than the anything but
ornamental garments with which I had been decorated on the first day, and which
confined me to the house, except for an hour after dark, when my aunt, for my
health's sake, paraded me up and down on the cliff outside, before going to
bed. At length the reply from Mr. Murdstone came, and my aunt informed me, to
my infinite terror, that he was coming to speak to her herself on the next day.
On the next day, still bundled up in my curious habiliments, I sat counting the
time, flushed and heated by the conflict of sinking hopes and rising fears
within me; and waiting to be startled by the sight of the gloomy face, whose
non-arrival startled me every minute.
My aunt
was a little more imperious and stern than usual, but I observed no other token
of her preparing herself to receive the visitor so much dreaded by me. She sat
at work in the window, and I sat by, with my thoughts running astray on all
possible and impossible results of Mr. Murdstone's visit, until pretty late in
the afternoon. Our dinner had been indefinitely postponed; but it was growing
so late, that my aunt had ordered it to be got ready, when she gave a sudden
alarm of donkeys, and to my consternation and amazement, I beheld Miss
Murdstone, on a side-saddle, ride deliberately over the sacred piece of green,
and stop in front of the house, looking about her.
'Go along
with you!' cried my aunt, shaking her head and her fist at the window. 'You
have no business there. How dare you trespass? Go along! Oh! you bold-faced
thing!'
My aunt
was so exasperated by the coolness with which Miss Murdstone looked about her,
that I really believe she was motionless, and unable for the moment to dart out
according to custom. I seized the opportunity to inform her who it was; and
that the gentleman now coming near the offender (for the way up was very steep,
and he had dropped behind), was Mr. Murdstone himself.
'I don't
care who it is!' cried my aunt, still shaking her head and gesticulating
anything but welcome from the bow-window. 'I won't be trespassed upon. I won't
allow it. Go away! Janet, turn him round. Lead him off!' and I saw, from behind
my aunt, a sort of hurried battle-piece, in which the donkey stood resisting
everybody, with all his four legs planted different ways, while Janet tried to
pull him round by the bridle, Mr. Murdstone tried to lead him on, Miss
Murdstone struck at Janet with a parasol, and several boys, who had come to see
the engagement, shouted vigorously. But my aunt, suddenly descrying among them
the young malefactor who was the donkey's guardian, and who was one of the most
inveterate offenders against her, though hardly in his teens, rushed out to the
scene of action, pounced upon him, captured him, dragged him, with his jacket
over his head, and his heels grinding the ground, into the garden, and, calling
upon Janet to fetch the constables and justices, that he might be taken, tried,
and executed on the spot, held him at bay there. This part of the business,
however, did not last long; for the young rascal, being expert at a variety of
feints and dodges, of which my aunt had no conception, soon went whooping away,
leaving some deep impressions of his nailed boots in the flower-beds, and
taking his donkey in triumph with him.
Miss
Murdstone, during the latter portion of the contest, had dismounted, and was
now waiting with her brother at the bottom of the steps, until my aunt should
be at leisure to receive them. My aunt, a little ruffled by the combat, marched
past them into the house, with great dignity, and took no notice of their
presence, until they were announced by Janet.
'Shall I
go away, aunt?' I asked, trembling.
'No,
sir,' said my aunt. 'Certainly not!' With which she pushed me into a corner
near her, and fenced Me in with a chair, as if it were a prison or a bar of
justice. This position I continued to occupy during the whole interview, and
from it I now saw Mr. and Miss Murdstone enter the room.
'Oh!'
said my aunt, 'I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of
objecting. But I don't allow anybody to ride over that turf. I make no
exceptions. I don't allow anybody to do it.'
'Your
regulation is rather awkward to strangers,' said Miss Murdstone.
'Is it!'
said my aunt.
Mr.
Murdstone seemed afraid of a renewal of hostilities, and interposing began:
'Miss
Trotwood!'
'I beg
your pardon,' observed my aunt with a keen look. 'You are the Mr. Murdstone who
married the widow of my late nephew, David Copperfield, of Blunderstone
Rookery!—Though why Rookery, I don't know!'
'I am,'
said Mr. Murdstone.
'You'll
excuse my saying, sir,' returned my aunt, 'that I think it would have been a
much better and happier thing if you had left that poor child alone.'
'I so far
agree with what Miss Trotwood has remarked,' observed Miss Murdstone, bridling,
'that I consider our lamented Clara to have been, in all essential respects, a
mere child.'
'It is a
comfort to you and me, ma'am,' said my aunt, 'who are getting on in life, and
are not likely to be made unhappy by our personal attractions, that nobody can
say the same of us.'
'No
doubt!' returned Miss Murdstone, though, I thought, not with a very ready or
gracious assent. 'And it certainly might have been, as you say, a better and
happier thing for my brother if he had never entered into such a marriage. I
have always been of that opinion.'
'I have
no doubt you have,' said my aunt. 'Janet,' ringing the bell, 'my compliments to
Mr. Dick, and beg him to come down.'
Until he
came, my aunt sat perfectly upright and stiff, frowning at the wall. When he
came, my aunt performed the ceremony of introduction.
'Mr.
Dick. An old and intimate friend. On whose judgement,' said my aunt, with
emphasis, as an admonition to Mr. Dick, who was biting his forefinger and
looking rather foolish, 'I rely.'
Mr. Dick
took his finger out of his mouth, on this hint, and stood among the group, with
a grave and attentive expression of face.
My aunt
inclined her head to Mr. Murdstone, who went on:
'Miss
Trotwood: on the receipt of your letter, I considered it an act of greater justice
to myself, and perhaps of more respect to you—s'
'Thank
you,' said my aunt, still eyeing him keenly. 'You needn't mind me.'
'To
answer it in person, however inconvenient the journey,' pursued Mr. Murdstone,
'rather than by letter. This unhappy boy who has run away from his friends and
his occupation—'
'And
whose appearance,' interposed his sister, directing general attention to me in
my indefinable costume, 'is perfectly scandalous and disgraceful.'
'Jane
Murdstone,' said her brother, 'have the goodness not to interrupt me. This
unhappy boy, Miss Trotwood, has been the occasion of much domestic trouble and
uneasiness; both during the lifetime of my late dear wife, and since. He has a
sullen, rebellious spirit; a violent temper; and an untoward, intractable
disposition. Both my sister and myself have endeavoured to correct his vices,
but ineffectually. And I have felt—we both have felt, I may say; my sister
being fully in my confidence—that it is right you should receive this grave and
dispassionate assurance from our lips.'
'It can
hardly be necessary for me to confirm anything stated by my brother,' said Miss
Murdstone; 'but I beg to observe, that, of all the boys in the world, I believe
this is the worst boy.'
'Strong!'
said my aunt, shortly.
'But not
at all too strong for the facts,' returned Miss Murdstone.
'Ha!'
said my aunt. 'Well, sir?'
'I have
my own opinions,' resumed Mr. Murdstone, whose face darkened more and more, the
more he and my aunt observed each other, which they did very narrowly, 'as to
the best mode of bringing him up; they are founded, in part, on my knowledge of
him, and in part on my knowledge of my own means and resources. I am
responsible for them to myself, I act upon them, and I say no more about them.
It is enough that I place this boy under the eye of a friend of my own, in a
respectable business; that it does not please him; that he runs away from it;
makes himself a common vagabond about the country; and comes here, in rags, to
appeal to you, Miss Trotwood. I wish to set before you, honourably, the exact
consequences—so far as they are within my knowledge—of your abetting him in
this appeal.'
'But
about the respectable business first,' said my aunt. 'If he had been your own
boy, you would have put him to it, just the same, I suppose?'
'If he
had been my brother's own boy,' returned Miss Murdstone, striking in, 'his
character, I trust, would have been altogether different.'
'Or if
the poor child, his mother, had been alive, he would still have gone into the
respectable business, would he?' said my aunt.
'I
believe,' said Mr. Murdstone, with an inclination of his head, 'that Clara
would have disputed nothing which myself and my sister Jane Murdstone were
agreed was for the best.'
Miss
Murdstone confirmed this with an audible murmur.
'Humph!'
said my aunt. 'Unfortunate baby!'
Mr. Dick,
who had been rattling his money all this time, was rattling it so loudly now,
that my aunt felt it necessary to check him with a look, before saying:
'The poor
child's annuity died with her?'
'Died
with her,' replied Mr. Murdstone.
'And
there was no settlement of the little property—the house and garden—the
what's-its-name Rookery without any rooks in it—upon her boy?'
'It had
been left to her, unconditionally, by her first husband,' Mr. Murdstone began,
when my aunt caught him up with the greatest irascibility and impatience.
'Good
Lord, man, there's no occasion to say that. Left to her unconditionally! I
think I see David Copperfield looking forward to any condition of any sort or
kind, though it stared him point-blank in the face! Of course it was left to
her unconditionally. But when she married again—when she took that most
disastrous step of marrying you, in short,' said my aunt, 'to be plain—did no
one put in a word for the boy at that time?'
'My late
wife loved her second husband, ma'am,' said Mr. Murdstone, 'and trusted
implicitly in him.'
'Your
late wife, sir, was a most unworldly, most unhappy, most unfortunate baby,'
returned my aunt, shaking her head at him. 'That's what she was. And now, what
have you got to say next?'
'Merely
this, Miss Trotwood,' he returned. 'I am here to take David back—to take him
back unconditionally, to dispose of him as I think proper, and to deal with him
as I think right. I am not here to make any promise, or give any pledge to
anybody. You may possibly have some idea, Miss Trotwood, of abetting him in his
running away, and in his complaints to you. Your manner, which I must say does
not seem intended to propitiate, induces me to think it possible. Now I must
caution you that if you abet him once, you abet him for good and all; if you
step in between him and me, now, you must step in, Miss Trotwood, for ever. I
cannot trifle, or be trifled with. I am here, for the first and last time, to
take him away. Is he ready to go? If he is not—and you tell me he is not; on
any pretence; it is indifferent to me what—my doors are shut against him
henceforth, and yours, I take it for granted, are open to him.'
To this
address, my aunt had listened with the closest attention, sitting perfectly
upright, with her hands folded on one knee, and looking grimly on the speaker.
When he had finished, she turned her eyes so as to command Miss Murdstone,
without otherwise disturbing her attitude, and said:
'Well,
ma'am, have YOU got anything to remark?'
'Indeed,
Miss Trotwood,' said Miss Murdstone, 'all that I could say has been so well
said by my brother, and all that I know to be the fact has been so plainly
stated by him, that I have nothing to add except my thanks for your politeness.
For your very great politeness, I am sure,' said Miss Murdstone; with an irony
which no more affected my aunt, than it discomposed the cannon I had slept by
at Chatham.
'And what
does the boy say?' said my aunt. 'Are you ready to go, David?'
I
answered no, and entreated her not to let me go. I said that neither Mr. nor
Miss Murdstone had ever liked me, or had ever been kind to me. That they had
made my mama, who always loved me dearly, unhappy about me, and that I knew it
well, and that Peggotty knew it. I said that I had been more miserable than I
thought anybody could believe, who only knew how young I was. And I begged and
prayed my aunt—I forget in what terms now, but I remember that they affected me
very much then—to befriend and protect me, for my father's sake.
'Mr.
Dick,' said my aunt, 'what shall I do with this child?'
Mr. Dick
considered, hesitated, brightened, and rejoined, 'Have him measured for a suit
of clothes directly.'
'Mr.
Dick,' said my aunt triumphantly, 'give me your hand, for your common sense is
invaluable.' Having shaken it with great cordiality, she pulled me towards her
and said to Mr. Murdstone:
'You can
go when you like; I'll take my chance with the boy. If he's all you say he is,
at least I can do as much for him then, as you have done. But I don't believe a
word of it.'
'Miss
Trotwood,' rejoined Mr. Murdstone, shrugging his shoulders, as he rose, 'if you
were a gentleman—'
'Bah!
Stuff and nonsense!' said my aunt. 'Don't talk to me!'
'How
exquisitely polite!' exclaimed Miss Murdstone, rising. 'Overpowering, really!'
'Do you
think I don't know,' said my aunt, turning a deaf ear to the sister, and
continuing to address the brother, and to shake her head at him with infinite
expression, 'what kind of life you must have led that poor, unhappy,
misdirected baby? Do you think I don't know what a woeful day it was for the
soft little creature when you first came in her way—smirking and making great
eyes at her, I'll be bound, as if you couldn't say boh! to a goose!'
'I never
heard anything so elegant!' said Miss Murdstone.
'Do you
think I can't understand you as well as if I had seen you,' pursued my aunt,
'now that I DO see and hear you—which, I tell you candidly, is anything but a
pleasure to me? Oh yes, bless us! who so smooth and silky as Mr. Murdstone at
first! The poor, benighted innocent had never seen such a man. He was made of
sweetness. He worshipped her. He doted on her boy—tenderly doted on him! He was
to be another father to him, and they were all to live together in a garden of
roses, weren't they? Ugh! Get along with you, do!' said my aunt.
'I never
heard anything like this person in my life!' exclaimed Miss Murdstone.
'And when
you had made sure of the poor little fool,' said my aunt—'God forgive me that I
should call her so, and she gone where YOU won't go in a hurry—because you had
not done wrong enough to her and hers, you must begin to train her, must you?
begin to break her, like a poor caged bird, and wear her deluded life away, in
teaching her to sing YOUR notes?'
'This is
either insanity or intoxication,' said Miss Murdstone, in a perfect agony at
not being able to turn the current of my aunt's address towards herself; 'and
my suspicion is that it's intoxication.'
Miss Betsey,
without taking the least notice of the interruption, continued to address
herself to Mr. Murdstone as if there had been no such thing.
'Mr.
Murdstone,' she said, shaking her finger at him, 'you were a tyrant to the
simple baby, and you broke her heart. She was a loving baby—I know that; I knew
it, years before you ever saw her—and through the best part of her weakness you
gave her the wounds she died of. There is the truth for your comfort, however
you like it. And you and your instruments may make the most of it.'
'Allow me
to inquire, Miss Trotwood,' interposed Miss Murdstone, 'whom you are pleased to
call, in a choice of words in which I am not experienced, my brother's
instruments?'
'It was
clear enough, as I have told you, years before YOU ever saw her—and why, in the
mysterious dispensations of Providence, you ever did see her, is more than
humanity can comprehend—it was clear enough that the poor soft little thing
would marry somebody, at some time or other; but I did hope it wouldn't have
been as bad as it has turned out. That was the time, Mr. Murdstone, when she
gave birth to her boy here,' said my aunt; 'to the poor child you sometimes
tormented her through afterwards, which is a disagreeable remembrance and makes
the sight of him odious now. Aye, aye! you needn't wince!' said my aunt. 'I
know it's true without that.'
He had
stood by the door, all this while, observant of her with a smile upon his face,
though his black eyebrows were heavily contracted. I remarked now, that, though
the smile was on his face still, his colour had gone in a moment, and he seemed
to breathe as if he had been running.
'Good
day, sir,' said my aunt, 'and good-bye! Good day to you, too, ma'am,' said my
aunt, turning suddenly upon his sister. 'Let me see you ride a donkey over my
green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders, I'll knock
your bonnet off, and tread upon it!'
It would
require a painter, and no common painter too, to depict my aunt's face as she
delivered herself of this very unexpected sentiment, and Miss Murdstone's face
as she heard it. But the manner of the speech, no less than the matter, was so
fiery, that Miss Murdstone, without a word in answer, discreetly put her arm
through her brother's, and walked haughtily out of the cottage; my aunt
remaining in the window looking after them; prepared, I have no doubt, in case
of the donkey's reappearance, to carry her threat into instant execution.
No
attempt at defiance being made, however, her face gradually relaxed, and became
so pleasant, that I was emboldened to kiss and thank her; which I did with
great heartiness, and with both my arms clasped round her neck. I then shook
hands with Mr. Dick, who shook hands with me a great many times, and hailed
this happy close of the proceedings with repeated bursts of laughter.
'You'll
consider yourself guardian, jointly with me, of this child, Mr. Dick,' said my
aunt.
'I shall
be delighted,' said Mr. Dick, 'to be the guardian of David's son.'
'Very
good,' returned my aunt, 'that's settled. I have been thinking, do you know,
Mr. Dick, that I might call him Trotwood?'
'Certainly,
certainly. Call him Trotwood, certainly,' said Mr. Dick. 'David's son's
Trotwood.'
'Trotwood
Copperfield, you mean,' returned my aunt.
'Yes, to
be sure. Yes. Trotwood Copperfield,' said Mr. Dick, a little abashed.
My aunt
took so kindly to the notion, that some ready-made clothes, which were
purchased for me that afternoon, were marked 'Trotwood Copperfield', in her own
handwriting, and in indelible marking-ink, before I put them on; and it was
settled that all the other clothes which were ordered to be made for me (a
complete outfit was bespoke that afternoon) should be marked in the same way.
Thus I
began my new life, in a new name, and with everything new about me. Now that
the state of doubt was over, I felt, for many days, like one in a dream. I
never thought that I had a curious couple of guardians, in my aunt and Mr.
Dick. I never thought of anything about myself, distinctly. The two things
clearest in my mind were, that a remoteness had come upon the old Blunderstone
life—which seemed to lie in the haze of an immeasurable distance; and that a
curtain had for ever fallen on my life at Murdstone and Grinby's. No one has
ever raised that curtain since. I have lifted it for a moment, even in this
narrative, with a reluctant hand, and dropped it gladly. The remembrance of
that life is fraught with so much pain to me, with so much mental suffering and
want of hope, that I have never had the courage even to examine how long I was
doomed to lead it. Whether it lasted for a year, or more, or less, I do not
know. I only know that it was, and ceased to be; and that I have written, and
there I leave it.
To be continued