DAVID
COPPERFIELD
PART 59
CHAPTER 59. RETURN
I landed
in London on a wintry autumn evening. It was dark and raining, and I saw more
fog and mud in a minute than I had seen in a year. I walked from the Custom
House to the Monument before I found a coach; and although the very
house-fronts, looking on the swollen gutters, were like old friends to me, I
could not but admit that they were very dingy friends.
I have
often remarked—I suppose everybody has—that one's going away from a familiar
place, would seem to be the signal for change in it. As I looked out of the
coach window, and observed that an old house on Fish-street Hill, which had
stood untouched by painter, carpenter, or bricklayer, for a century, had been
pulled down in my absence; and that a neighbouring street, of time-honoured
insalubrity and inconvenience, was being drained and widened; I half expected
to find St. Paul's Cathedral looking older.
For some
changes in the fortunes of my friends, I was prepared. My aunt had long been
re-established at Dover, and Traddles had begun to get into some little
practice at the Bar, in the very first term after my departure. He had chambers
in Gray's Inn, now; and had told me, in his last letters, that he was not
without hopes of being soon united to the dearest girl in the world.
They
expected me home before Christmas; but had no idea of my returning so soon. I
had purposely misled them, that I might have the pleasure of taking them by
surprise. And yet, I was perverse enough to feel a chill and disappointment in
receiving no welcome, and rattling, alone and silent, through the misty
streets.
The
well-known shops, however, with their cheerful lights, did something for me;
and when I alighted at the door of the Gray's Inn Coffee-house, I had recovered
my spirits. It recalled, at first, that so-different time when I had put up at
the Golden Cross, and reminded me of the changes that had come to pass since
then; but that was natural.
'Do you
know where Mr. Traddles lives in the Inn?' I asked the waiter, as I warmed
myself by the coffee-room fire.
'Holborn
Court, sir. Number two.'
'Mr.
Traddles has a rising reputation among the lawyers, I believe?' said I.
'Well,
sir,' returned the waiter, 'probably he has, sir; but I am not aware of it
myself.'
This
waiter, who was middle-aged and spare, looked for help to a waiter of more
authority—a stout, potential old man, with a double chin, in black breeches and
stockings, who came out of a place like a churchwarden's pew, at the end of the
coffee-room, where he kept company with a cash-box, a Directory, a Law-list,
and other books and papers.
'Mr.
Traddles,' said the spare waiter. 'Number two in the Court.'
The
potential waiter waved him away, and turned, gravely, to me.
'I was
inquiring,' said I, 'whether Mr. Traddles, at number two in the Court, has not
a rising reputation among the lawyers?'
'Never
heard his name,' said the waiter, in a rich husky voice.
I felt
quite apologetic for Traddles.
'He's a
young man, sure?' said the portentous waiter, fixing his eyes severely on me.
'How long has he been in the Inn?'
'Not
above three years,' said I.
The
waiter, who I supposed had lived in his churchwarden's pew for forty years,
could not pursue such an insignificant subject. He asked me what I would have
for dinner?
I felt I
was in England again, and really was quite cast down on Traddles's account.
There seemed to be no hope for him. I meekly ordered a bit of fish and a steak,
and stood before the fire musing on his obscurity.
As I
followed the chief waiter with my eyes, I could not help thinking that the
garden in which he had gradually blown to be the flower he was, was an arduous
place to rise in. It had such a prescriptive, stiff-necked, long-established,
solemn, elderly air. I glanced about the room, which had had its sanded floor
sanded, no doubt, in exactly the same manner when the chief waiter was a boy—if
he ever was a boy, which appeared improbable; and at the shining tables, where
I saw myself reflected, in unruffled depths of old mahogany; and at the lamps,
without a flaw in their trimming or cleaning; and at the comfortable green
curtains, with their pure brass rods, snugly enclosing the boxes; and at the
two large coal fires, brightly burning; and at the rows of decanters, burly as
if with the consciousness of pipes of expensive old port wine below; and both
England, and the law, appeared to me to be very difficult indeed to be taken by
storm. I went up to my bedroom to change my wet clothes; and the vast extent of
that old wainscoted apartment (which was over the archway leading to the Inn, I
remember), and the sedate immensity of the four-post bedstead, and the
indomitable gravity of the chests of drawers, all seemed to unite in sternly
frowning on the fortunes of Traddles, or on any such daring youth. I came down
again to my dinner; and even the slow comfort of the meal, and the orderly
silence of the place—which was bare of guests, the Long Vacation not yet being
over—were eloquent on the audacity of Traddles, and his small hopes of a
livelihood for twenty years to come.
I had
seen nothing like this since I went away, and it quite dashed my hopes for my
friend. The chief waiter had had enough of me. He came near me no more; but
devoted himself to an old gentleman in long gaiters, to meet whom a pint of
special port seemed to come out of the cellar of its own accord, for he gave no
order. The second waiter informed me, in a whisper, that this old gentleman was
a retired conveyancer living in the Square, and worth a mint of money, which it
was expected he would leave to his laundress's daughter; likewise that it was
rumoured that he had a service of plate in a bureau, all tarnished with lying
by, though more than one spoon and a fork had never yet been beheld in his
chambers by mortal vision. By this time, I quite gave Traddles up for lost; and
settled in my own mind that there was no hope for him.
Being
very anxious to see the dear old fellow, nevertheless, I dispatched my dinner,
in a manner not at all calculated to raise me in the opinion of the chief
waiter, and hurried out by the back way. Number two in the Court was soon
reached; and an inscription on the door-post informing me that Mr. Traddles
occupied a set of chambers on the top storey, I ascended the staircase. A crazy
old staircase I found it to be, feebly lighted on each landing by a club—headed
little oil wick, dying away in a little dungeon of dirty glass.
In the
course of my stumbling upstairs, I fancied I heard a pleasant sound of laughter;
and not the laughter of an attorney or barrister, or attorney's clerk or
barrister's clerk, but of two or three merry girls. Happening, however, as I
stopped to listen, to put my foot in a hole where the Honourable Society of
Gray's Inn had left a plank deficient, I fell down with some noise, and when I
recovered my footing all was silent.
Groping
my way more carefully, for the rest of the journey, my heart beat high when I
found the outer door, which had Mr. TRADDLES painted on it, open. I knocked. A
considerable scuffling within ensued, but nothing else. I therefore knocked
again.
A small
sharp-looking lad, half-footboy and half-clerk, who was very much out of
breath, but who looked at me as if he defied me to prove it legally, presented
himself.
'Is Mr.
Traddles within?' I said.
'Yes,
sir, but he's engaged.'
'I want
to see him.'
After a
moment's survey of me, the sharp-looking lad decided to let me in; and opening
the door wider for that purpose, admitted me, first, into a little closet of a
hall, and next into a little sitting-room; where I came into the presence of my
old friend (also out of breath), seated at a table, and bending over papers.
'Good
God!' cried Traddles, looking up. 'It's Copperfield!' and rushed into my arms,
where I held him tight.
'All
well, my dear Traddles?'
'All
well, my dear, dear Copperfield, and nothing but good news!'
We cried
with pleasure, both of us.
'My dear
fellow,' said Traddles, rumpling his hair in his excitement, which was a most
unnecessary operation, 'my dearest Copperfield, my long-lost and most welcome
friend, how glad I am to see you! How brown you are! How glad I am! Upon my
life and honour, I never was so rejoiced, my beloved Copperfield, never!'
I was
equally at a loss to express my emotions. I was quite unable to speak, at
first.
'My dear
fellow!' said Traddles. 'And grown so famous! My glorious Copperfield! Good
gracious me, WHEN did you come, WHERE have you come from, WHAT have you been
doing?'
Never
pausing for an answer to anything he said, Traddles, who had clapped me into an
easy-chair by the fire, all this time impetuously stirred the fire with one
hand, and pulled at my neck-kerchief with the other, under some wild delusion
that it was a great-coat. Without putting down the poker, he now hugged me
again; and I hugged him; and, both laughing, and both wiping our eyes, we both
sat down, and shook hands across the hearth.
'To think,'
said Traddles, 'that you should have been so nearly coming home as you must
have been, my dear old boy, and not at the ceremony!'
'What
ceremony, my dear Traddles?'
'Good
gracious me!' cried Traddles, opening his eyes in his old way. 'Didn't you get
my last letter?'
'Certainly
not, if it referred to any ceremony.'
'Why, my
dear Copperfield,' said Traddles, sticking his hair upright with both hands,
and then putting his hands on my knees, 'I am married!'
'Married!'
I cried joyfully.
'Lord
bless me, yes!' said Traddles—'by the Reverend Horace—to Sophy—down in
Devonshire. Why, my dear boy, she's behind the window curtain! Look here!'
To my
amazement, the dearest girl in the world came at that same instant, laughing
and blushing, from her place of concealment. And a more cheerful, amiable,
honest, happy, bright-looking bride, I believe (as I could not help saying on
the spot) the world never saw. I kissed her as an old acquaintance should, and
wished them joy with all my might of heart.
'Dear
me,' said Traddles, 'what a delightful re-union this is! You are so extremely
brown, my dear Copperfield! God bless my soul, how happy I am!'
'And so
am I,' said I.
'And I am
sure I am!' said the blushing and laughing Sophy.
'We are
all as happy as possible!' said Traddles. 'Even the girls are happy. Dear me, I
declare I forgot them!'
'Forgot?'
said I.
'The
girls,' said Traddles. 'Sophy's sisters. They are staying with us. They have
come to have a peep at London. The fact is, when—was it you that tumbled
upstairs, Copperfield?'
'It was,'
said I, laughing.
'Well
then, when you tumbled upstairs,' said Traddles, 'I was romping with the girls.
In point of fact, we were playing at Puss in the Corner. But as that wouldn't
do in Westminster Hall, and as it wouldn't look quite professional if they were
seen by a client, they decamped. And they are now—listening, I have no doubt,'
said Traddles, glancing at the door of another room.
'I am
sorry,' said I, laughing afresh, 'to have occasioned such a dispersion.'
'Upon my
word,' rejoined Traddles, greatly delighted, 'if you had seen them running
away, and running back again, after you had knocked, to pick up the combs they
had dropped out of their hair, and going on in the maddest manner, you wouldn't
have said so. My love, will you fetch the girls?'
Sophy
tripped away, and we heard her received in the adjoining room with a peal of
laughter.
'Really
musical, isn't it, my dear Copperfield?' said Traddles. 'It's very agreeable to
hear. It quite lights up these old rooms. To an unfortunate bachelor of a
fellow who has lived alone all his life, you know, it's positively delicious.
It's charming. Poor things, they have had a great loss in Sophy—who, I do
assure you, Copperfield is, and ever was, the dearest girl!—and it gratifies me
beyond expression to find them in such good spirits. The society of girls is a
very delightful thing, Copperfield. It's not professional, but it's very
delightful.'
Observing
that he slightly faltered, and comprehending that in the goodness of his heart
he was fearful of giving me some pain by what he had said, I expressed my
concurrence with a heartiness that evidently relieved and pleased him greatly.
'But
then,' said Traddles, 'our domestic arrangements are, to say the truth, quite
unprofessional altogether, my dear Copperfield. Even Sophy's being here, is
unprofessional. And we have no other place of abode. We have put to sea in a
cockboat, but we are quite prepared to rough it. And Sophy's an extraordinary
manager! You'll be surprised how those girls are stowed away. I am sure I hardly
know how it's done!'
'Are many
of the young ladies with you?' I inquired.
'The
eldest, the Beauty is here,' said Traddles, in a low confidential voice,
'Caroline. And Sarah's here—the one I mentioned to you as having something the
matter with her spine, you know. Immensely better! And the two youngest that
Sophy educated are with us. And Louisa's here.'
'Indeed!'
cried I.
'Yes,'
said Traddles. 'Now the whole set—I mean the chambers—is only three rooms; but
Sophy arranges for the girls in the most wonderful way, and they sleep as
comfortably as possible. Three in that room,' said Traddles, pointing. 'Two in
that.'
I could
not help glancing round, in search of the accommodation remaining for Mr. and
Mrs. Traddles. Traddles understood me.
'Well!' said
Traddles, 'we are prepared to rough it, as I said just now, and we did
improvise a bed last week, upon the floor here. But there's a little room in
the roof—a very nice room, when you're up there—which Sophy papered herself, to
surprise me; and that's our room at present. It's a capital little gipsy sort
of place. There's quite a view from it.'
'And you
are happily married at last, my dear Traddles!' said I. 'How rejoiced I am!'
'Thank
you, my dear Copperfield,' said Traddles, as we shook hands once more. 'Yes, I
am as happy as it's possible to be. There's your old friend, you see,' said
Traddles, nodding triumphantly at the flower-pot and stand; 'and there's the
table with the marble top! All the other furniture is plain and serviceable,
you perceive. And as to plate, Lord bless you, we haven't so much as a
tea-spoon.'
'All to
be earned?' said I, cheerfully.
'Exactly
so,' replied Traddles, 'all to be earned. Of course we have something in the
shape of tea-spoons, because we stir our tea. But they're Britannia metal.'
'The
silver will be the brighter when it comes,' said I.
'The very
thing we say!' cried Traddles. 'You see, my dear Copperfield,' falling again
into the low confidential tone, 'after I had delivered my argument in DOE dem.
JIPES versus WIGZIELL, which did me great service with the profession, I went
down into Devonshire, and had some serious conversation in private with the
Reverend Horace. I dwelt upon the fact that Sophy—who I do assure you,
Copperfield, is the dearest girl!—'
'I am
certain she is!' said I.
'She is,
indeed!' rejoined Traddles. 'But I am afraid I am wandering from the subject.
Did I mention the Reverend Horace?'
'You said
that you dwelt upon the fact—'
'True!
Upon the fact that Sophy and I had been engaged for a long period, and that
Sophy, with the permission of her parents, was more than content to take me—in
short,' said Traddles, with his old frank smile, 'on our present
Britannia-metal footing. Very well. I then proposed to the Reverend Horace—who
is a most excellent clergyman, Copperfield, and ought to be a Bishop; or at
least ought to have enough to live upon, without pinching himself—that if I
could turn the corner, say of two hundred and fifty pounds, in one year; and
could see my way pretty clearly to that, or something better, next year; and
could plainly furnish a little place like this, besides; then, and in that
case, Sophy and I should be united. I took the liberty of representing that we had
been patient for a good many years; and that the circumstance of Sophy's being
extraordinarily useful at home, ought not to operate with her affectionate
parents, against her establishment in life—don't you see?'
'Certainly
it ought not,' said I.
'I am
glad you think so, Copperfield,' rejoined Traddles, 'because, without any
imputation on the Reverend Horace, I do think parents, and brothers, and so
forth, are sometimes rather selfish in such cases. Well! I also pointed out,
that my most earnest desire was, to be useful to the family; and that if I got
on in the world, and anything should happen to him—I refer to the Reverend
Horace—'
'I
understand,' said I.
'—Or to
Mrs. Crewler—it would be the utmost gratification of my wishes, to be a parent
to the girls. He replied in a most admirable manner, exceedingly flattering to
my feelings, and undertook to obtain the consent of Mrs. Crewler to this
arrangement. They had a dreadful time of it with her. It mounted from her legs
into her chest, and then into her head—'
'What
mounted?' I asked.
'Her
grief,' replied Traddles, with a serious look. 'Her feelings generally. As I
mentioned on a former occasion, she is a very superior woman, but has lost the
use of her limbs. Whatever occurs to harass her, usually settles in her legs;
but on this occasion it mounted to the chest, and then to the head, and, in
short, pervaded the whole system in a most alarming manner. However, they
brought her through it by unremitting and affectionate attention; and we were
married yesterday six weeks. You have no idea what a Monster I felt,
Copperfield, when I saw the whole family crying and fainting away in every
direction! Mrs. Crewler couldn't see me before we left—couldn't forgive me,
then, for depriving her of her child—but she is a good creature, and has done so
since. I had a delightful letter from her, only this morning.'
'And in
short, my dear friend,' said I, 'you feel as blest as you deserve to feel!'
'Oh!
That's your partiality!' laughed Traddles. 'But, indeed, I am in a most
enviable state. I work hard, and read Law insatiably. I get up at five every
morning, and don't mind it at all. I hide the girls in the daytime, and make
merry with them in the evening. And I assure you I am quite sorry that they are
going home on Tuesday, which is the day before the first day of Michaelmas
Term. But here,' said Traddles, breaking off in his confidence, and speaking
aloud, 'ARE the girls! Mr. Copperfield, Miss Crewler—Miss Sarah—Miss
Louisa—Margaret and Lucy!'
They were
a perfect nest of roses; they looked so wholesome and fresh. They were all
pretty, and Miss Caroline was very handsome; but there was a loving, cheerful,
fireside quality in Sophy's bright looks, which was better than that, and which
assured me that my friend had chosen well. We all sat round the fire; while the
sharp boy, who I now divined had lost his breath in putting the papers out,
cleared them away again, and produced the tea-things. After that, he retired
for the night, shutting the outer door upon us with a bang. Mrs. Traddles, with
perfect pleasure and composure beaming from her household eyes, having made the
tea, then quietly made the toast as she sat in a corner by the fire.
She had
seen Agnes, she told me while she was toasting. 'Tom' had taken her down into
Kent for a wedding trip, and there she had seen my aunt, too; and both my aunt
and Agnes were well, and they had all talked of nothing but me. 'Tom' had never
had me out of his thoughts, she really believed, all the time I had been away.
'Tom' was the authority for everything. 'Tom' was evidently the idol of her
life; never to be shaken on his pedestal by any commotion; always to be
believed in, and done homage to with the whole faith of her heart, come what
might.
The
deference which both she and Traddles showed towards the Beauty, pleased me
very much. I don't know that I thought it very reasonable; but I thought it
very delightful, and essentially a part of their character. If Traddles ever
for an instant missed the tea-spoons that were still to be won, I have no doubt
it was when he handed the Beauty her tea. If his sweet-tempered wife could have
got up any self-assertion against anyone, I am satisfied it could only have
been because she was the Beauty's sister. A few slight indications of a rather
petted and capricious manner, which I observed in the Beauty, were manifestly
considered, by Traddles and his wife, as her birthright and natural endowment.
If she had been born a Queen Bee, and they labouring Bees, they could not have
been more satisfied of that.
But their
self-forgetfulness charmed me. Their pride in these girls, and their submission
of themselves to all their whims, was the pleasantest little testimony to their
own worth I could have desired to see. If Traddles were addressed as 'a
darling', once in the course of that evening; and besought to bring something
here, or carry something there, or take something up, or put something down, or
find something, or fetch something, he was so addressed, by one or other of his
sisters-in-law, at least twelve times in an hour. Neither could they do
anything without Sophy. Somebody's hair fell down, and nobody but Sophy could
put it up. Somebody forgot how a particular tune went, and nobody but Sophy
could hum that tune right. Somebody wanted to recall the name of a place in
Devonshire, and only Sophy knew it. Something was wanted to be written home,
and Sophy alone could be trusted to write before breakfast in the morning.
Somebody broke down in a piece of knitting, and no one but Sophy was able to
put the defaulter in the right direction. They were entire mistresses of the
place, and Sophy and Traddles waited on them. How many children Sophy could
have taken care of in her time, I can't imagine; but she seemed to be famous
for knowing every sort of song that ever was addressed to a child in the
English tongue; and she sang dozens to order with the clearest little voice in
the world, one after another (every sister issuing directions for a different
tune, and the Beauty generally striking in last), so that I was quite
fascinated. The best of all was, that, in the midst of their exactions, all the
sisters had a great tenderness and respect both for Sophy and Traddles. I am
sure, when I took my leave, and Traddles was coming out to walk with me to the
coffee-house, I thought I had never seen an obstinate head of hair, or any
other head of hair, rolling about in such a shower of kisses.
Altogether,
it was a scene I could not help dwelling on with pleasure, for a long time
after I got back and had wished Traddles good night. If I had beheld a thousand
roses blowing in a top set of chambers, in that withered Gray's Inn, they could
not have brightened it half so much. The idea of those Devonshire girls, among
the dry law-stationers and the attorneys' offices; and of the tea and toast,
and children's songs, in that grim atmosphere of pounce and parchment,
red-tape, dusty wafers, ink-jars, brief and draft paper, law reports, writs,
declarations, and bills of costs; seemed almost as pleasantly fanciful as if I
had dreamed that the Sultan's famous family had been admitted on the roll of
attorneys, and had brought the talking bird, the singing tree, and the golden
water into Gray's Inn Hall. Somehow, I found that I had taken leave of Traddles
for the night, and come back to the coffee-house, with a great change in my
despondency about him. I began to think he would get on, in spite of all the
many orders of chief waiters in England.
Drawing a
chair before one of the coffee-room fires to think about him at my leisure, I
gradually fell from the consideration of his happiness to tracing prospects in
the live-coals, and to thinking, as they broke and changed, of the principal
vicissitudes and separations that had marked my life. I had not seen a coal
fire, since I had left England three years ago: though many a wood fire had I
watched, as it crumbled into hoary ashes, and mingled with the feathery heap
upon the hearth, which not inaptly figured to me, in my despondency, my own
dead hopes.
I could
think of the past now, gravely, but not bitterly; and could contemplate the
future in a brave spirit. Home, in its best sense, was for me no more. She in
whom I might have inspired a dearer love, I had taught to be my sister. She
would marry, and would have new claimants on her tenderness; and in doing it,
would never know the love for her that had grown up in my heart. It was right
that I should pay the forfeit of my headlong passion. What I reaped, I had
sown.
I was
thinking. And had I truly disciplined my heart to this, and could I resolutely
bear it, and calmly hold the place in her home which she had calmly held in
mine,—when I found my eyes resting on a countenance that might have arisen out
of the fire, in its association with my early remembrances.
Little
Mr. Chillip the Doctor, to whose good offices I was indebted in the very first
chapter of this history, sat reading a newspaper in the shadow of an opposite
corner. He was tolerably stricken in years by this time; but, being a mild,
meek, calm little man, had worn so easily, that I thought he looked at that
moment just as he might have looked when he sat in our parlour, waiting for me
to be born.
Mr.
Chillip had left Blunderstone six or seven years ago, and I had never seen him
since. He sat placidly perusing the newspaper, with his little head on one
side, and a glass of warm sherry negus at his elbow. He was so extremely
conciliatory in his manner that he seemed to apologize to the very newspaper
for taking the liberty of reading it.
I walked
up to where he was sitting, and said, 'How do you do, Mr. Chillip?'
He was
greatly fluttered by this unexpected address from a stranger, and replied, in
his slow way, 'I thank you, sir, you are very good. Thank you, sir. I hope YOU
are well.'
'You
don't remember me?' said I.
'Well,
sir,' returned Mr. Chillip, smiling very meekly, and shaking his head as he
surveyed me, 'I have a kind of an impression that something in your countenance
is familiar to me, sir; but I couldn't lay my hand upon your name, really.'
'And yet
you knew it, long before I knew it myself,' I returned.
'Did I
indeed, sir?' said Mr. Chillip. 'Is it possible that I had the honour, sir, of
officiating when—?'
'Yes,'
said I.
'Dear
me!' cried Mr. Chillip. 'But no doubt you are a good deal changed since then,
sir?'
'Probably,'
said I.
'Well,
sir,' observed Mr. Chillip, 'I hope you'll excuse me, if I am compelled to ask
the favour of your name?'
On my
telling him my name, he was really moved. He quite shook hands with me—which
was a violent proceeding for him, his usual course being to slide a tepid
little fish-slice, an inch or two in advance of his hip, and evince the
greatest discomposure when anybody grappled with it. Even now, he put his hand
in his coat-pocket as soon as he could disengage it, and seemed relieved when
he had got it safe back.
'Dear me,
sir!' said Mr. Chillip, surveying me with his head on one side. 'And it's Mr.
Copperfield, is it? Well, sir, I think I should have known you, if I had taken
the liberty of looking more closely at you. There's a strong resemblance
between you and your poor father, sir.'
'I never
had the happiness of seeing my father,' I observed.
'Very
true, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, in a soothing tone. 'And very much to be deplored
it was, on all accounts! We are not ignorant, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, slowly
shaking his little head again, 'down in our part of the country, of your fame.
There must be great excitement here, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, tapping himself on
the forehead with his forefinger. 'You must find it a trying occupation, sir!'
'What is
your part of the country now?' I asked, seating myself near him.
'I am
established within a few miles of Bury St. Edmund's, sir,' said Mr. Chillip.
'Mrs. Chillip, coming into a little property in that neighbourhood, under her
father's will, I bought a practice down there, in which you will be glad to
hear I am doing well. My daughter is growing quite a tall lass now, sir,' said
Mr. Chillip, giving his little head another little shake. 'Her mother let down
two tucks in her frocks only last week. Such is time, you see, sir!'
As the
little man put his now empty glass to his lips, when he made this reflection, I
proposed to him to have it refilled, and I would keep him company with another.
'Well, sir,' he returned, in his slow way, 'it's more than I am accustomed to;
but I can't deny myself the pleasure of your conversation. It seems but
yesterday that I had the honour of attending you in the measles. You came
through them charmingly, sir!'
I
acknowledged this compliment, and ordered the negus, which was soon produced.
'Quite an uncommon dissipation!' said Mr. Chillip, stirring it, 'but I can't
resist so extraordinary an occasion. You have no family, sir?'
I shook
my head.
'I was
aware that you sustained a bereavement, sir, some time ago,' said Mr. Chillip.
'I heard it from your father-in-law's sister. Very decided character there,
sir?'
'Why,
yes,' said I, 'decided enough. Where did you see her, Mr. Chillip?'
'Are you
not aware, sir,' returned Mr. Chillip, with his placidest smile, 'that your
father-in-law is again a neighbour of mine?'
'No,'
said I.
'He is
indeed, sir!' said Mr. Chillip. 'Married a young lady of that part, with a very
good little property, poor thing.—-And this action of the brain now, sir? Don't
you find it fatigue you?' said Mr. Chillip, looking at me like an admiring
Robin.
I waived
that question, and returned to the Murdstones. 'I was aware of his being
married again. Do you attend the family?' I asked.
'Not
regularly. I have been called in,' he replied. 'Strong phrenological
developments of the organ of firmness, in Mr. Murdstone and his sister, sir.'
I replied
with such an expressive look, that Mr. Chillip was emboldened by that, and the
negus together, to give his head several short shakes, and thoughtfully
exclaim, 'Ah, dear me! We remember old times, Mr. Copperfield!'
'And the
brother and sister are pursuing their old course, are they?' said I.
'Well,
sir,' replied Mr. Chillip, 'a medical man, being so much in families, ought to
have neither eyes nor ears for anything but his profession. Still, I must say,
they are very severe, sir: both as to this life and the next.'
'The next
will be regulated without much reference to them, I dare say,' I returned:
'what are they doing as to this?'
Mr.
Chillip shook his head, stirred his negus, and sipped it.
'She was
a charming woman, sir!' he observed in a plaintive manner.
'The
present Mrs. Murdstone?'
A
charming woman indeed, sir,' said Mr. Chillip; 'as amiable, I am sure, as it
was possible to be! Mrs. Chillip's opinion is, that her spirit has been entirely
broken since her marriage, and that she is all but melancholy mad. And the
ladies,' observed Mr. Chillip, timorously, 'are great observers, sir.'
'I
suppose she was to be subdued and broken to their detestable mould, Heaven help
her!' said I. 'And she has been.'
'Well,
sir, there were violent quarrels at first, I assure you,' said Mr. Chillip;
'but she is quite a shadow now. Would it be considered forward if I was to say
to you, sir, in confidence, that since the sister came to help, the brother and
sister between them have nearly reduced her to a state of imbecility?'
I told
him I could easily believe it.
'I have
no hesitation in saying,' said Mr. Chillip, fortifying himself with another sip
of negus, 'between you and me, sir, that her mother died of it—or that tyranny,
gloom, and worry have made Mrs. Murdstone nearly imbecile. She was a lively
young woman, sir, before marriage, and their gloom and austerity destroyed her.
They go about with her, now, more like her keepers than her husband and sister-in-law.
That was Mrs. Chillip's remark to me, only last week. And I assure you, sir,
the ladies are great observers. Mrs. Chillip herself is a great observer!'
'Does he
gloomily profess to be (I am ashamed to use the word in such association) religious
still?' I inquired.
'You
anticipate, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, his eyelids getting quite red with the
unwonted stimulus in which he was indulging. 'One of Mrs. Chillip's most
impressive remarks. Mrs. Chillip,' he proceeded, in the calmest and slowest
manner, 'quite electrified me, by pointing out that Mr. Murdstone sets up an
image of himself, and calls it the Divine Nature. You might have knocked me
down on the flat of my back, sir, with the feather of a pen, I assure you, when
Mrs. Chillip said so. The ladies are great observers, sir?'
'Intuitively,'
said I, to his extreme delight.
'I am
very happy to receive such support in my opinion, sir,' he rejoined. 'It is not
often that I venture to give a non-medical opinion, I assure you. Mr. Murdstone
delivers public addresses sometimes, and it is said,—in short, sir, it is said
by Mrs. Chillip,—that the darker tyrant he has lately been, the more ferocious
is his doctrine.'
'I
believe Mrs. Chillip to be perfectly right,' said I.
'Mrs.
Chillip does go so far as to say,' pursued the meekest of little men, much
encouraged, 'that what such people miscall their religion, is a vent for their
bad humours and arrogance. And do you know I must say, sir,' he continued,
mildly laying his head on one side, 'that I DON'T find authority for Mr. and
Miss Murdstone in the New Testament?'
'I never
found it either!' said I.
'In the
meantime, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, 'they are much disliked; and as they are very
free in consigning everybody who dislikes them to perdition, we really have a
good deal of perdition going on in our neighbourhood! However, as Mrs. Chillip
says, sir, they undergo a continual punishment; for they are turned inward, to
feed upon their own hearts, and their own hearts are very bad feeding. Now,
sir, about that brain of yours, if you'll excuse my returning to it. Don't you
expose it to a good deal of excitement, sir?'
I found
it not difficult, in the excitement of Mr. Chillip's own brain, under his
potations of negus, to divert his attention from this topic to his own affairs,
on which, for the next half-hour, he was quite loquacious; giving me to
understand, among other pieces of information, that he was then at the Gray's
Inn Coffee-house to lay his professional evidence before a Commission of
Lunacy, touching the state of mind of a patient who had become deranged from
excessive drinking. 'And I assure you, sir,' he said, 'I am extremely nervous
on such occasions. I could not support being what is called Bullied, sir. It would
quite unman me. Do you know it was some time before I recovered the conduct of
that alarming lady, on the night of your birth, Mr. Copperfield?'
I told
him that I was going down to my aunt, the Dragon of that night, early in the
morning; and that she was one of the most tender-hearted and excellent of
women, as he would know full well if he knew her better. The mere notion of the
possibility of his ever seeing her again, appeared to terrify him. He replied
with a small pale smile, 'Is she so, indeed, sir? Really?' and almost
immediately called for a candle, and went to bed, as if he were not quite safe
anywhere else. He did not actually stagger under the negus; but I should think
his placid little pulse must have made two or three more beats in a minute,
than it had done since the great night of my aunt's disappointment, when she
struck at him with her bonnet.
Thoroughly
tired, I went to bed too, at midnight; passed the next day on the Dover coach;
burst safe and sound into my aunt's old parlour while she was at tea (she wore
spectacles now); and was received by her, and Mr. Dick, and dear old Peggotty,
who acted as housekeeper, with open arms and tears of joy. My aunt was mightily
amused, when we began to talk composedly, by my account of my meeting with Mr.
Chillip, and of his holding her in such dread remembrance; and both she and
Peggotty had a great deal to say about my poor mother's second husband, and
'that murdering woman of a sister',—on whom I think no pain or penalty would
have induced my aunt to bestow any Christian or Proper Name, or any other
designation.
To be continued