DAVID
COPPERFIELD
PART 16
CHAPTER 16. I AM A NEW BOY IN MORE SENSES THAN ONE
Next
morning, after breakfast, I entered on school life again. I went, accompanied
by Mr. Wickfield, to the scene of my future studies—a grave building in a
courtyard, with a learned air about it that seemed very well suited to the
stray rooks and jackdaws who came down from the Cathedral towers to walk with a
clerkly bearing on the grass-plot—and was introduced to my new master, Doctor
Strong.
Doctor
Strong looked almost as rusty, to my thinking, as the tall iron rails and gates
outside the house; and almost as stiff and heavy as the great stone urns that
flanked them, and were set up, on the top of the red-brick wall, at regular
distances all round the court, like sublimated skittles, for Time to play at.
He was in his library (I mean Doctor Strong was), with his clothes not
particularly well brushed, and his hair not particularly well combed; his knee-smalls
unbraced; his long black gaiters unbuttoned; and his shoes yawning like two
caverns on the hearth-rug. Turning upon me a lustreless eye, that reminded me
of a long-forgotten blind old horse who once used to crop the grass, and tumble
over the graves, in Blunderstone churchyard, he said he was glad to see me: and
then he gave me his hand; which I didn't know what to do with, as it did
nothing for itself.
But,
sitting at work, not far from Doctor Strong, was a very pretty young lady—whom
he called Annie, and who was his daughter, I supposed—who got me out of my
difficulty by kneeling down to put Doctor Strong's shoes on, and button his
gaiters, which she did with great cheerfulness and quickness. When she had
finished, and we were going out to the schoolroom, I was much surprised to hear
Mr. Wickfield, in bidding her good morning, address her as 'Mrs. Strong'; and I
was wondering could she be Doctor Strong's son's wife, or could she be Mrs.
Doctor Strong, when Doctor Strong himself unconsciously enlightened me.
'By the
by, Wickfield,' he said, stopping in a passage with his hand on my shoulder;
'you have not found any suitable provision for my wife's cousin yet?'
'No,'
said Mr. Wickfield. 'No. Not yet.'
'I could
wish it done as soon as it can be done, Wickfield,' said Doctor Strong, 'for
Jack Maldon is needy, and idle; and of those two bad things, worse things
sometimes come. What does Doctor Watts say,' he added, looking at me, and
moving his head to the time of his quotation, '"Satan finds some mischief
still, for idle hands to do."'
'Egad,
Doctor,' returned Mr. Wickfield, 'if Doctor Watts knew mankind, he might have
written, with as much truth, "Satan finds some mischief still, for busy
hands to do." The busy people achieve their full share of mischief in the
world, you may rely upon it. What have the people been about, who have been the
busiest in getting money, and in getting power, this century or two? No
mischief?'
'Jack
Maldon will never be very busy in getting either, I expect,' said Doctor
Strong, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
'Perhaps
not,' said Mr. Wickfield; 'and you bring me back to the question, with an
apology for digressing. No, I have not been able to dispose of Mr. Jack Maldon
yet. I believe,' he said this with some hesitation, 'I penetrate your motive,
and it makes the thing more difficult.'
'My
motive,' returned Doctor Strong, 'is to make some suitable provision for a
cousin, and an old playfellow, of Annie's.'
'Yes, I
know,' said Mr. Wickfield; 'at home or abroad.'
'Aye!'
replied the Doctor, apparently wondering why he emphasized those words so much.
'At home or abroad.'
'Your own
expression, you know,' said Mr. Wickfield. 'Or abroad.'
'Surely,'
the Doctor answered. 'Surely. One or other.'
'One or
other? Have you no choice?' asked Mr. Wickfield.
'No,'
returned the Doctor.
'No?'
with astonishment.
'Not the
least.'
'No
motive,' said Mr. Wickfield, 'for meaning abroad, and not at home?'
'No,'
returned the Doctor.
'I am
bound to believe you, and of course I do believe you,' said Mr. Wickfield. 'It
might have simplified my office very much, if I had known it before. But I
confess I entertained another impression.'
Doctor
Strong regarded him with a puzzled and doubting look, which almost immediately
subsided into a smile that gave me great encouragement; for it was full of
amiability and sweetness, and there was a simplicity in it, and indeed in his
whole manner, when the studious, pondering frost upon it was got through, very
attractive and hopeful to a young scholar like me. Repeating 'no', and 'not the
least', and other short assurances to the same purport, Doctor Strong jogged on
before us, at a queer, uneven pace; and we followed: Mr. Wickfield, looking
grave, I observed, and shaking his head to himself, without knowing that I saw
him.
The
schoolroom was a pretty large hall, on the quietest side of the house,
confronted by the stately stare of some half-dozen of the great urns, and
commanding a peep of an old secluded garden belonging to the Doctor, where the
peaches were ripening on the sunny south wall. There were two great aloes, in
tubs, on the turf outside the windows; the broad hard leaves of which plant
(looking as if they were made of painted tin) have ever since, by association,
been symbolical to me of silence and retirement. About five-and-twenty boys
were studiously engaged at their books when we went in, but they rose to give
the Doctor good morning, and remained standing when they saw Mr. Wickfield and
me.
'A new
boy, young gentlemen,' said the Doctor; 'Trotwood Copperfield.'
One
Adams, who was the head-boy, then stepped out of his place and welcomed me. He
looked like a young clergyman, in his white cravat, but he was very affable and
good-humoured; and he showed me my place, and presented me to the masters, in a
gentlemanly way that would have put me at my ease, if anything could.
It seemed
to me so long, however, since I had been among such boys, or among any
companions of my own age, except Mick Walker and Mealy Potatoes, that I felt as
strange as ever I have done in my life. I was so conscious of having passed
through scenes of which they could have no knowledge, and of having acquired
experiences foreign to my age, appearance, and condition as one of them, that I
half believed it was an imposture to come there as an ordinary little
schoolboy. I had become, in the Murdstone and Grinby time, however short or
long it may have been, so unused to the sports and games of boys, that I knew I
was awkward and inexperienced in the commonest things belonging to them.
Whatever I had learnt, had so slipped away from me in the sordid cares of my
life from day to night, that now, when I was examined about what I knew, I knew
nothing, and was put into the lowest form of the school. But, troubled as I
was, by my want of boyish skill, and of book-learning too, I was made
infinitely more uncomfortable by the consideration, that, in what I did know, I
was much farther removed from my companions than in what I did not. My mind ran
upon what they would think, if they knew of my familiar acquaintance with the
King's Bench Prison? Was there anything about me which would reveal my
proceedings in connexion with the Micawber family—all those pawnings, and
sellings, and suppers—in spite of myself? Suppose some of the boys had seen me
coming through Canterbury, wayworn and ragged, and should find me out? What would
they say, who made so light of money, if they could know how I had scraped my
halfpence together, for the purchase of my daily saveloy and beer, or my slices
of pudding? How would it affect them, who were so innocent of London life, and
London streets, to discover how knowing I was (and was ashamed to be) in some
of the meanest phases of both? All this ran in my head so much, on that first
day at Doctor Strong's, that I felt distrustful of my slightest look and
gesture; shrunk within myself whensoever I was approached by one of my new
schoolfellows; and hurried off the minute school was over, afraid of committing
myself in my response to any friendly notice or advance.
But there
was such an influence in Mr. Wickfield's old house, that when I knocked at it,
with my new school-books under my arm, I began to feel my uneasiness softening
away. As I went up to my airy old room, the grave shadow of the staircase
seemed to fall upon my doubts and fears, and to make the past more indistinct.
I sat there, sturdily conning my books, until dinner-time (we were out of
school for good at three); and went down, hopeful of becoming a passable sort
of boy yet.
Agnes was
in the drawing-room, waiting for her father, who was detained by someone in his
office. She met me with her pleasant smile, and asked me how I liked the
school. I told her I should like it very much, I hoped; but I was a little
strange to it at first.
'You have
never been to school,' I said, 'have you?' 'Oh yes! Every day.'
'Ah, but
you mean here, at your own home?'
'Papa
couldn't spare me to go anywhere else,' she answered, smiling and shaking her
head. 'His housekeeper must be in his house, you know.'
'He is
very fond of you, I am sure,' I said.
She
nodded 'Yes,' and went to the door to listen for his coming up, that she might
meet him on the stairs. But, as he was not there, she came back again.
'Mama has
been dead ever since I was born,' she said, in her quiet way. 'I only know her
picture, downstairs. I saw you looking at it yesterday. Did you think whose it
was?'
I told
her yes, because it was so like herself.
'Papa
says so, too,' said Agnes, pleased. 'Hark! That's papa now!'
Her
bright calm face lighted up with pleasure as she went to meet him, and as they
came in, hand in hand. He greeted me cordially; and told me I should certainly
be happy under Doctor Strong, who was one of the gentlest of men.
'There
may be some, perhaps—I don't know that there are—who abuse his kindness,' said
Mr. Wickfield. 'Never be one of those, Trotwood, in anything. He is the least
suspicious of mankind; and whether that's a merit, or whether it's a blemish,
it deserves consideration in all dealings with the Doctor, great or small.'
He spoke,
I thought, as if he were weary, or dissatisfied with something; but I did not
pursue the question in my mind, for dinner was just then announced, and we went
down and took the same seats as before.
We had
scarcely done so, when Uriah Heep put in his red head and his lank hand at the
door, and said:
'Here's
Mr. Maldon begs the favour of a word, sir.'
'I am but
this moment quit of Mr. Maldon,' said his master.
'Yes,
sir,' returned Uriah; 'but Mr. Maldon has come back, and he begs the favour of
a word.'
As he
held the door open with his hand, Uriah looked at me, and looked at Agnes, and
looked at the dishes, and looked at the plates, and looked at every object in
the room, I thought,—yet seemed to look at nothing; he made such an appearance
all the while of keeping his red eyes dutifully on his master. 'I beg your
pardon. It's only to say, on reflection,' observed a voice behind Uriah, as
Uriah's head was pushed away, and the speaker's substituted—'pray excuse me for
this intrusion—that as it seems I have no choice in the matter, the sooner I go
abroad the better. My cousin Annie did say, when we talked of it, that she
liked to have her friends within reach rather than to have them banished, and
the old Doctor—'
'Doctor
Strong, was that?' Mr. Wickfield interposed, gravely.
'Doctor
Strong, of course,' returned the other; 'I call him the old Doctor; it's all
the same, you know.'
'I don't
know,' returned Mr. Wickfield.
'Well,
Doctor Strong,' said the other—'Doctor Strong was of the same mind, I believed.
But as it appears from the course you take with me he has changed his mind, why
there's no more to be said, except that the sooner I am off, the better.
Therefore, I thought I'd come back and say, that the sooner I am off the better.
When a plunge is to be made into the water, it's of no use lingering on the
bank.'
'There
shall be as little lingering as possible, in your case, Mr. Maldon, you may
depend upon it,' said Mr. Wickfield.
'Thank'ee,'
said the other. 'Much obliged. I don't want to look a gift-horse in the mouth,
which is not a gracious thing to do; otherwise, I dare say, my cousin Annie
could easily arrange it in her own way. I suppose Annie would only have to say
to the old Doctor—'
'Meaning
that Mrs. Strong would only have to say to her husband—do I follow you?' said
Mr. Wickfield.
'Quite
so,' returned the other, '—would only have to say, that she wanted such and
such a thing to be so and so; and it would be so and so, as a matter of
course.'
'And why
as a matter of course, Mr. Maldon?' asked Mr. Wickfield, sedately eating his
dinner.
'Why,
because Annie's a charming young girl, and the old Doctor—Doctor Strong, I
mean—is not quite a charming young boy,' said Mr. Jack Maldon, laughing. 'No
offence to anybody, Mr. Wickfield. I only mean that I suppose some compensation
is fair and reasonable in that sort of marriage.'
'Compensation
to the lady, sir?' asked Mr. Wickfield gravely.
'To the
lady, sir,' Mr. Jack Maldon answered, laughing. But appearing to remark that
Mr. Wickfield went on with his dinner in the same sedate, immovable manner, and
that there was no hope of making him relax a muscle of his face, he added:
'However, I have said what I came to say, and, with another apology for this
intrusion, I may take myself off. Of course I shall observe your directions, in
considering the matter as one to be arranged between you and me solely, and not
to be referred to, up at the Doctor's.'
'Have you
dined?' asked Mr. Wickfield, with a motion of his hand towards the table.
'Thank'ee.
I am going to dine,' said Mr. Maldon, 'with my cousin Annie. Good-bye!'
Mr.
Wickfield, without rising, looked after him thoughtfully as he went out. He was
rather a shallow sort of young gentleman, I thought, with a handsome face, a rapid
utterance, and a confident, bold air. And this was the first I ever saw of Mr.
Jack Maldon; whom I had not expected to see so soon, when I heard the Doctor
speak of him that morning.
When we
had dined, we went upstairs again, where everything went on exactly as on the
previous day. Agnes set the glasses and decanters in the same corner, and Mr.
Wickfield sat down to drink, and drank a good deal. Agnes played the piano to
him, sat by him, and worked and talked, and played some games at dominoes with
me. In good time she made tea; and afterwards, when I brought down my books,
looked into them, and showed me what she knew of them (which was no slight
matter, though she said it was), and what was the best way to learn and
understand them. I see her, with her modest, orderly, placid manner, and I hear
her beautiful calm voice, as I write these words. The influence for all good,
which she came to exercise over me at a later time, begins already to descend
upon my breast. I love little Em'ly, and I don't love Agnes—no, not at all in
that way—but I feel that there are goodness, peace, and truth, wherever Agnes
is; and that the soft light of the coloured window in the church, seen long
ago, falls on her always, and on me when I am near her, and on everything around.
The time
having come for her withdrawal for the night, and she having left us, I gave
Mr. Wickfield my hand, preparatory to going away myself. But he checked me and
said: 'Should you like to stay with us, Trotwood, or to go elsewhere?'
'To
stay,' I answered, quickly.
'You are
sure?'
'If you
please. If I may!'
'Why,
it's but a dull life that we lead here, boy, I am afraid,' he said.
'Not more
dull for me than Agnes, sir. Not dull at all!'
'Than
Agnes,' he repeated, walking slowly to the great chimney-piece, and leaning
against it. 'Than Agnes!'
He had
drank wine that evening (or I fancied it), until his eyes were bloodshot. Not
that I could see them now, for they were cast down, and shaded by his hand; but
I had noticed them a little while before.
'Now I
wonder,' he muttered, 'whether my Agnes tires of me. When should I ever tire of
her! But that's different, that's quite different.'
He was
musing, not speaking to me; so I remained quiet.
'A dull
old house,' he said, 'and a monotonous life; but I must have her near me. I
must keep her near me. If the thought that I may die and leave my darling, or
that my darling may die and leave me, comes like a spectre, to distress my
happiest hours, and is only to be drowned in—'
He did
not supply the word; but pacing slowly to the place where he had sat, and
mechanically going through the action of pouring wine from the empty decanter,
set it down and paced back again.
'If it is
miserable to bear, when she is here,' he said, 'what would it be, and she away?
No, no, no. I cannot try that.'
He leaned
against the chimney-piece, brooding so long that I could not decide whether to
run the risk of disturbing him by going, or to remain quietly where I was,
until he should come out of his reverie. At length he aroused himself, and
looked about the room until his eyes encountered mine.
'Stay
with us, Trotwood, eh?' he said in his usual manner, and as if he were
answering something I had just said. 'I am glad of it. You are company to us
both. It is wholesome to have you here. Wholesome for me, wholesome for Agnes,
wholesome perhaps for all of us.'
'I am
sure it is for me, sir,' I said. 'I am so glad to be here.'
'That's a
fine fellow!' said Mr. Wickfield. 'As long as you are glad to be here, you
shall stay here.' He shook hands with me upon it, and clapped me on the back;
and told me that when I had anything to do at night after Agnes had left us, or
when I wished to read for my own pleasure, I was free to come down to his room,
if he were there and if I desired it for company's sake, and to sit with him. I
thanked him for his consideration; and, as he went down soon afterwards, and I
was not tired, went down too, with a book in my hand, to avail myself, for
half-an-hour, of his permission.
But,
seeing a light in the little round office, and immediately feeling myself
attracted towards Uriah Heep, who had a sort of fascination for me, I went in
there instead. I found Uriah reading a great fat book, with such demonstrative
attention, that his lank forefinger followed up every line as he read, and made
clammy tracks along the page (or so I fully believed) like a snail.
'You are
working late tonight, Uriah,' says I.
'Yes,
Master Copperfield,' says Uriah.
As I was
getting on the stool opposite, to talk to him more conveniently, I observed
that he had not such a thing as a smile about him, and that he could only widen
his mouth and make two hard creases down his cheeks, one on each side, to stand
for one.
'I am not
doing office-work, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah.
'What
work, then?' I asked.
'I am
improving my legal knowledge, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah. 'I am going
through Tidd's Practice. Oh, what a writer Mr. Tidd is, Master Copperfield!'
My stool
was such a tower of observation, that as I watched him reading on again, after
this rapturous exclamation, and following up the lines with his forefinger, I
observed that his nostrils, which were thin and pointed, with sharp dints in
them, had a singular and most uncomfortable way of expanding and contracting
themselves—that they seemed to twinkle instead of his eyes, which hardly ever
twinkled at all.
'I
suppose you are quite a great lawyer?' I said, after looking at him for some
time.
'Me,
Master Copperfield?' said Uriah. 'Oh, no! I'm a very umble person.'
It was no
fancy of mine about his hands, I observed; for he frequently ground the palms
against each other as if to squeeze them dry and warm, besides often wiping
them, in a stealthy way, on his pocket-handkerchief.
'I am
well aware that I am the umblest person going,' said Uriah Heep, modestly; 'let
the other be where he may. My mother is likewise a very umble person. We live
in a numble abode, Master Copperfield, but have much to be thankful for. My
father's former calling was umble. He was a sexton.'
'What is
he now?' I asked.
'He is a
partaker of glory at present, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah Heep. 'But we
have much to be thankful for. How much have I to be thankful for in living with
Mr. Wickfield!'
I asked
Uriah if he had been with Mr. Wickfield long?
'I have
been with him, going on four year, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah; shutting up
his book, after carefully marking the place where he had left off. 'Since a
year after my father's death. How much have I to be thankful for, in that! How
much have I to be thankful for, in Mr. Wickfield's kind intention to give me my
articles, which would otherwise not lay within the umble means of mother and
self!'
'Then,
when your articled time is over, you'll be a regular lawyer, I suppose?' said
I.
'With the
blessing of Providence, Master Copperfield,' returned Uriah.
'Perhaps
you'll be a partner in Mr. Wickfield's business, one of these days,' I said, to
make myself agreeable; 'and it will be Wickfield and Heep, or Heep late
Wickfield.'
'Oh no,
Master Copperfield,' returned Uriah, shaking his head, 'I am much too umble for
that!'
He
certainly did look uncommonly like the carved face on the beam outside my
window, as he sat, in his humility, eyeing me sideways, with his mouth widened,
and the creases in his cheeks.
'Mr.
Wickfield is a most excellent man, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah. 'If you
have known him long, you know it, I am sure, much better than I can inform
you.'
I replied
that I was certain he was; but that I had not known him long myself, though he
was a friend of my aunt's.
'Oh,
indeed, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah. 'Your aunt is a sweet lady, Master
Copperfield!'
He had a
way of writhing when he wanted to express enthusiasm, which was very ugly; and
which diverted my attention from the compliment he had paid my relation, to the
snaky twistings of his throat and body.
'A sweet
lady, Master Copperfield!' said Uriah Heep. 'She has a great admiration for
Miss Agnes, Master Copperfield, I believe?'
I said,
'Yes,' boldly; not that I knew anything about it, Heaven forgive me!
'I hope
you have, too, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah. 'But I am sure you must have.'
'Everybody
must have,' I returned.
'Oh,
thank you, Master Copperfield,' said Uriah Heep, 'for that remark! It is so
true! Umble as I am, I know it is so true! Oh, thank you, Master Copperfield!'
He writhed himself quite off his stool in the excitement of his feelings, and,
being off, began to make arrangements for going home.
'Mother
will be expecting me,' he said, referring to a pale, inexpressive-faced watch
in his pocket, 'and getting uneasy; for though we are very umble, Master
Copperfield, we are much attached to one another. If you would come and see us,
any afternoon, and take a cup of tea at our lowly dwelling, mother would be as
proud of your company as I should be.'
I said I
should be glad to come.
'Thank
you, Master Copperfield,' returned Uriah, putting his book away upon the
shelf—'I suppose you stop here, some time, Master Copperfield?'
I said I
was going to be brought up there, I believed, as long as I remained at school.
'Oh,
indeed!' exclaimed Uriah. 'I should think YOU would come into the business at
last, Master Copperfield!'
I
protested that I had no views of that sort, and that no such scheme was
entertained in my behalf by anybody; but Uriah insisted on blandly replying to
all my assurances, 'Oh, yes, Master Copperfield, I should think you would,
indeed!' and, 'Oh, indeed, Master Copperfield, I should think you would,
certainly!' over and over again. Being, at last, ready to leave the office for
the night, he asked me if it would suit my convenience to have the light put
out; and on my answering 'Yes,' instantly extinguished it. After shaking hands
with me—his hand felt like a fish, in the dark—he opened the door into the
street a very little, and crept out, and shut it, leaving me to grope my way
back into the house: which cost me some trouble and a fall over his stool. This
was the proximate cause, I suppose, of my dreaming about him, for what appeared
to me to be half the night; and dreaming, among other things, that he had
launched Mr. Peggotty's house on a piratical expedition, with a black flag at
the masthead, bearing the inscription 'Tidd's Practice', under which diabolical
ensign he was carrying me and little Em'ly to the Spanish Main, to be drowned.
I got a
little the better of my uneasiness when I went to school next day, and a good
deal the better next day, and so shook it off by degrees, that in less than a
fortnight I was quite at home, and happy, among my new companions. I was
awkward enough in their games, and backward enough in their studies; but custom
would improve me in the first respect, I hoped, and hard work in the second.
Accordingly, I went to work very hard, both in play and in earnest, and gained
great commendation. And, in a very little while, the Murdstone and Grinby life
became so strange to me that I hardly believed in it, while my present life
grew so familiar, that I seemed to have been leading it a long time.
Doctor
Strong's was an excellent school; as different from Mr. Creakle's as good is
from evil. It was very gravely and decorously ordered, and on a sound system;
with an appeal, in everything, to the honour and good faith of the boys, and an
avowed intention to rely on their possession of those qualities unless they
proved themselves unworthy of it, which worked wonders. We all felt that we had
a part in the management of the place, and in sustaining its character and
dignity. Hence, we soon became warmly attached to it—I am sure I did for one,
and I never knew, in all my time, of any other boy being otherwise—and learnt
with a good will, desiring to do it credit. We had noble games out of hours,
and plenty of liberty; but even then, as I remember, we were well spoken of in
the town, and rarely did any disgrace, by our appearance or manner, to the
reputation of Doctor Strong and Doctor Strong's boys.
Some of
the higher scholars boarded in the Doctor's house, and through them I learned,
at second hand, some particulars of the Doctor's history—as, how he had not yet
been married twelve months to the beautiful young lady I had seen in the study,
whom he had married for love; for she had not a sixpence, and had a world of
poor relations (so our fellows said) ready to swarm the Doctor out of house and
home. Also, how the Doctor's cogitating manner was attributable to his being
always engaged in looking out for Greek roots; which, in my innocence and
ignorance, I supposed to be a botanical furor on the Doctor's part, especially
as he always looked at the ground when he walked about, until I understood that
they were roots of words, with a view to a new Dictionary which he had in
contemplation. Adams, our head-boy, who had a turn for mathematics, had made a
calculation, I was informed, of the time this Dictionary would take in
completing, on the Doctor's plan, and at the Doctor's rate of going. He
considered that it might be done in one thousand six hundred and forty-nine
years, counting from the Doctor's last, or sixty-second, birthday.
But the
Doctor himself was the idol of the whole school: and it must have been a badly
composed school if he had been anything else, for he was the kindest of men;
with a simple faith in him that might have touched the stone hearts of the very
urns upon the wall. As he walked up and down that part of the courtyard which
was at the side of the house, with the stray rooks and jackdaws looking after
him with their heads cocked slyly, as if they knew how much more knowing they
were in worldly affairs than he, if any sort of vagabond could only get near
enough to his creaking shoes to attract his attention to one sentence of a tale
of distress, that vagabond was made for the next two days. It was so notorious
in the house, that the masters and head-boys took pains to cut these marauders
off at angles, and to get out of windows, and turn them out of the courtyard,
before they could make the Doctor aware of their presence; which was sometimes
happily effected within a few yards of him, without his knowing anything of the
matter, as he jogged to and fro. Outside his own domain, and unprotected, he
was a very sheep for the shearers. He would have taken his gaiters off his
legs, to give away. In fact, there was a story current among us (I have no
idea, and never had, on what authority, but I have believed it for so many
years that I feel quite certain it is true), that on a frosty day, one
winter-time, he actually did bestow his gaiters on a beggar-woman, who
occasioned some scandal in the neighbourhood by exhibiting a fine infant from
door to door, wrapped in those garments, which were universally recognized,
being as well known in the vicinity as the Cathedral. The legend added that the
only person who did not identify them was the Doctor himself, who, when they
were shortly afterwards displayed at the door of a little second-hand shop of
no very good repute, where such things were taken in exchange for gin, was more
than once observed to handle them approvingly, as if admiring some curious
novelty in the pattern, and considering them an improvement on his own.
It was
very pleasant to see the Doctor with his pretty young wife. He had a fatherly,
benignant way of showing his fondness for her, which seemed in itself to
express a good man. I often saw them walking in the garden where the peaches
were, and I sometimes had a nearer observation of them in the study or the
parlour. She appeared to me to take great care of the Doctor, and to like him
very much, though I never thought her vitally interested in the Dictionary: some
cumbrous fragments of which work the Doctor always carried in his pockets, and
in the lining of his hat, and generally seemed to be expounding to her as they
walked about.
I saw a
good deal of Mrs. Strong, both because she had taken a liking for me on the
morning of my introduction to the Doctor, and was always afterwards kind to me,
and interested in me; and because she was very fond of Agnes, and was often
backwards and forwards at our house. There was a curious constraint between her
and Mr. Wickfield, I thought (of whom she seemed to be afraid), that never wore
off. When she came there of an evening, she always shrunk from accepting his
escort home, and ran away with me instead. And sometimes, as we were running
gaily across the Cathedral yard together, expecting to meet nobody, we would
meet Mr. Jack Maldon, who was always surprised to see us.
Mrs.
Strong's mama was a lady I took great delight in. Her name was Mrs. Markleham;
but our boys used to call her the Old Soldier, on account of her generalship,
and the skill with which she marshalled great forces of relations against the
Doctor. She was a little, sharp-eyed woman, who used to wear, when she was
dressed, one unchangeable cap, ornamented with some artificial flowers, and two
artificial butterflies supposed to be hovering above the flowers. There was a
superstition among us that this cap had come from France, and could only
originate in the workmanship of that ingenious nation: but all I certainly know
about it, is, that it always made its appearance of an evening, wheresoever
Mrs. Markleham made HER appearance; that it was carried about to friendly
meetings in a Hindoo basket; that the butterflies had the gift of trembling
constantly; and that they improved the shining hours at Doctor Strong's expense,
like busy bees.
I
observed the Old Soldier—not to adopt the name disrespectfully—to pretty good
advantage, on a night which is made memorable to me by something else I shall
relate. It was the night of a little party at the Doctor's, which was given on
the occasion of Mr. Jack Maldon's departure for India, whither he was going as
a cadet, or something of that kind: Mr. Wickfield having at length arranged the
business. It happened to be the Doctor's birthday, too. We had had a holiday,
had made presents to him in the morning, had made a speech to him through the
head-boy, and had cheered him until we were hoarse, and until he had shed
tears. And now, in the evening, Mr. Wickfield, Agnes, and I, went to have tea
with him in his private capacity.
Mr. Jack
Maldon was there, before us. Mrs. Strong, dressed in white, with
cherry-coloured ribbons, was playing the piano, when we went in; and he was
leaning over her to turn the leaves. The clear red and white of her complexion
was not so blooming and flower-like as usual, I thought, when she turned round;
but she looked very pretty, Wonderfully pretty.
'I have
forgotten, Doctor,' said Mrs. Strong's mama, when we were seated, 'to pay you
the compliments of the day—though they are, as you may suppose, very far from
being mere compliments in my case. Allow me to wish you many happy returns.'
'I thank
you, ma'am,' replied the Doctor.
'Many,
many, many, happy returns,' said the Old Soldier. 'Not only for your own sake,
but for Annie's, and John Maldon's, and many other people's. It seems but
yesterday to me, John, when you were a little creature, a head shorter than
Master Copperfield, making baby love to Annie behind the gooseberry bushes in
the back-garden.'
'My dear
mama,' said Mrs. Strong, 'never mind that now.'
'Annie,
don't be absurd,' returned her mother. 'If you are to blush to hear of such
things now you are an old married woman, when are you not to blush to hear of
them?'
'Old?'
exclaimed Mr. Jack Maldon. 'Annie? Come!'
'Yes,
John,' returned the Soldier. 'Virtually, an old married woman. Although not old
by years—for when did you ever hear me say, or who has ever heard me say, that
a girl of twenty was old by years!—your cousin is the wife of the Doctor, and,
as such, what I have described her. It is well for you, John, that your cousin
is the wife of the Doctor. You have found in him an influential and kind
friend, who will be kinder yet, I venture to predict, if you deserve it. I have
no false pride. I never hesitate to admit, frankly, that there are some members
of our family who want a friend. You were one yourself, before your cousin's
influence raised up one for you.'
The
Doctor, in the goodness of his heart, waved his hand as if to make light of it,
and save Mr. Jack Maldon from any further reminder. But Mrs. Markleham changed
her chair for one next the Doctor's, and putting her fan on his coat-sleeve,
said:
'No,
really, my dear Doctor, you must excuse me if I appear to dwell on this rather,
because I feel so very strongly. I call it quite my monomania, it is such a
subject of mine. You are a blessing to us. You really are a Boon, you know.'
'Nonsense,
nonsense,' said the Doctor.
'No, no,
I beg your pardon,' retorted the Old Soldier. 'With nobody present, but our
dear and confidential friend Mr. Wickfield, I cannot consent to be put down. I
shall begin to assert the privileges of a mother-in-law, if you go on like
that, and scold you. I am perfectly honest and outspoken. What I am saying, is
what I said when you first overpowered me with surprise—you remember how
surprised I was?—by proposing for Annie. Not that there was anything so very
much out of the way, in the mere fact of the proposal—it would be ridiculous to
say that!—but because, you having known her poor father, and having known her
from a baby six months old, I hadn't thought of you in such a light at all, or
indeed as a marrying man in any way,—simply that, you know.'
'Aye,
aye,' returned the Doctor, good-humouredly. 'Never mind.'
'But I DO
mind,' said the Old Soldier, laying her fan upon his lips. 'I mind very much. I
recall these things that I may be contradicted if I am wrong. Well! Then I spoke
to Annie, and I told her what had happened. I said, "My dear, here's
Doctor Strong has positively been and made you the subject of a handsome
declaration and an offer." Did I press it in the least? No. I said,
"Now, Annie, tell me the truth this moment; is your heart free?"
"Mama," she said crying, "I am extremely young"—which was
perfectly true—"and I hardly know if I have a heart at all."
"Then, my dear," I said, "you may rely upon it, it's free. At all
events, my love," said I, "Doctor Strong is in an agitated state of
mind, and must be answered. He cannot be kept in his present state of
suspense." "Mama," said Annie, still crying, "would he be
unhappy without me? If he would, I honour and respect him so much, that I think
I will have him." So it was settled. And then, and not till then, I said
to Annie, "Annie, Doctor Strong will not only be your husband, but he will
represent your late father: he will represent the head of our family, he will
represent the wisdom and station, and I may say the means, of our family; and
will be, in short, a Boon to it." I used the word at the time, and I have
used it again, today. If I have any merit it is consistency.'
The
daughter had sat quite silent and still during this speech, with her eyes fixed
on the ground; her cousin standing near her, and looking on the ground too. She
now said very softly, in a trembling voice:
'Mama, I
hope you have finished?' 'No, my dear Annie,' returned the Old Soldier, 'I have
not quite finished. Since you ask me, my love, I reply that I have not. I
complain that you really are a little unnatural towards your own family; and,
as it is of no use complaining to you. I mean to complain to your husband. Now,
my dear Doctor, do look at that silly wife of yours.'
As the
Doctor turned his kind face, with its smile of simplicity and gentleness,
towards her, she drooped her head more. I noticed that Mr. Wickfield looked at
her steadily.
'When I
happened to say to that naughty thing, the other day,' pursued her mother,
shaking her head and her fan at her, playfully, 'that there was a family
circumstance she might mention to you—indeed, I think, was bound to mention—she
said, that to mention it was to ask a favour; and that, as you were too
generous, and as for her to ask was always to have, she wouldn't.'
'Annie,
my dear,' said the Doctor. 'That was wrong. It robbed me of a pleasure.'
'Almost
the very words I said to her!' exclaimed her mother. 'Now really, another time,
when I know what she would tell you but for this reason, and won't, I have a
great mind, my dear Doctor, to tell you myself.'
'I shall
be glad if you will,' returned the Doctor.
'Shall
I?'
'Certainly.'
'Well,
then, I will!' said the Old Soldier. 'That's a bargain.' And having, I suppose,
carried her point, she tapped the Doctor's hand several times with her fan
(which she kissed first), and returned triumphantly to her former station.
Some more
company coming in, among whom were the two masters and Adams, the talk became
general; and it naturally turned on Mr. Jack Maldon, and his voyage, and the
country he was going to, and his various plans and prospects. He was to leave
that night, after supper, in a post-chaise, for Gravesend; where the ship, in
which he was to make the voyage, lay; and was to be gone—unless he came home on
leave, or for his health—I don't know how many years. I recollect it was
settled by general consent that India was quite a misrepresented country, and
had nothing objectionable in it, but a tiger or two, and a little heat in the
warm part of the day. For my own part, I looked on Mr. Jack Maldon as a modern
Sindbad, and pictured him the bosom friend of all the Rajahs in the East,
sitting under canopies, smoking curly golden pipes—a mile long, if they could
be straightened out.
Mrs.
Strong was a very pretty singer: as I knew, who often heard her singing by
herself. But, whether she was afraid of singing before people, or was out of
voice that evening, it was certain that she couldn't sing at all. She tried a
duet, once, with her cousin Maldon, but could not so much as begin; and
afterwards, when she tried to sing by herself, although she began sweetly, her
voice died away on a sudden, and left her quite distressed, with her head
hanging down over the keys. The good Doctor said she was nervous, and, to
relieve her, proposed a round game at cards; of which he knew as much as of the
art of playing the trombone. But I remarked that the Old Soldier took him into
custody directly, for her partner; and instructed him, as the first preliminary
of initiation, to give her all the silver he had in his pocket.
We had a
merry game, not made the less merry by the Doctor's mistakes, of which he
committed an innumerable quantity, in spite of the watchfulness of the
butterflies, and to their great aggravation. Mrs. Strong had declined to play,
on the ground of not feeling very well; and her cousin Maldon had excused
himself because he had some packing to do. When he had done it, however, he
returned, and they sat together, talking, on the sofa. From time to time she
came and looked over the Doctor's hand, and told him what to play. She was very
pale, as she bent over him, and I thought her finger trembled as she pointed
out the cards; but the Doctor was quite happy in her attention, and took no
notice of this, if it were so.
At
supper, we were hardly so gay. Everyone appeared to feel that a parting of that
sort was an awkward thing, and that the nearer it approached, the more awkward
it was. Mr. Jack Maldon tried to be very talkative, but was not at his ease,
and made matters worse. And they were not improved, as it appeared to me, by
the Old Soldier: who continually recalled passages of Mr. Jack Maldon's youth.
The
Doctor, however, who felt, I am sure, that he was making everybody happy, was
well pleased, and had no suspicion but that we were all at the utmost height of
enjoyment.
'Annie,
my dear,' said he, looking at his watch, and filling his glass, 'it is past
your cousin jack's time, and we must not detain him, since time and tide—both
concerned in this case—wait for no man. Mr. Jack Maldon, you have a long
voyage, and a strange country, before you; but many men have had both, and many
men will have both, to the end of time. The winds you are going to tempt, have
wafted thousands upon thousands to fortune, and brought thousands upon
thousands happily back.'
'It's an
affecting thing,' said Mrs. Markleham—'however it's viewed, it's affecting, to
see a fine young man one has known from an infant, going away to the other end
of the world, leaving all he knows behind, and not knowing what's before him. A
young man really well deserves constant support and patronage,' looking at the
Doctor, 'who makes such sacrifices.'
'Time
will go fast with you, Mr. Jack Maldon,' pursued the Doctor, 'and fast with all
of us. Some of us can hardly expect, perhaps, in the natural course of things,
to greet you on your return. The next best thing is to hope to do it, and
that's my case. I shall not weary you with good advice. You have long had a
good model before you, in your cousin Annie. Imitate her virtues as nearly as
you can.'
Mrs.
Markleham fanned herself, and shook her head.
'Farewell,
Mr. Jack,' said the Doctor, standing up; on which we all stood up. 'A
prosperous voyage out, a thriving career abroad, and a happy return home!'
We all
drank the toast, and all shook hands with Mr. Jack Maldon; after which he
hastily took leave of the ladies who were there, and hurried to the door, where
he was received, as he got into the chaise, with a tremendous broadside of
cheers discharged by our boys, who had assembled on the lawn for the purpose.
Running in among them to swell the ranks, I was very near the chaise when it
rolled away; and I had a lively impression made upon me, in the midst of the
noise and dust, of having seen Mr. Jack Maldon rattle past with an agitated
face, and something cherry-coloured in his hand.
After
another broadside for the Doctor, and another for the Doctor's wife, the boys
dispersed, and I went back into the house, where I found the guests all
standing in a group about the Doctor, discussing how Mr. Jack Maldon had gone
away, and how he had borne it, and how he had felt it, and all the rest of it.
In the midst of these remarks, Mrs. Markleham cried: 'Where's Annie?'
No Annie
was there; and when they called to her, no Annie replied. But all pressing out
of the room, in a crowd, to see what was the matter, we found her lying on the
hall floor. There was great alarm at first, until it was found that she was in
a swoon, and that the swoon was yielding to the usual means of recovery; when
the Doctor, who had lifted her head upon his knee, put her curls aside with his
hand, and said, looking around:
'Poor
Annie! She's so faithful and tender-hearted! It's the parting from her old
playfellow and friend—her favourite cousin—that has done this. Ah! It's a pity!
I am very sorry!'
When she
opened her eyes, and saw where she was, and that we were all standing about
her, she arose with assistance: turning her head, as she did so, to lay it on
the Doctor's shoulder—or to hide it, I don't know which. We went into the
drawing-room, to leave her with the Doctor and her mother; but she said, it
seemed, that she was better than she had been since morning, and that she would
rather be brought among us; so they brought her in, looking very white and
weak, I thought, and sat her on a sofa.
'Annie,
my dear,' said her mother, doing something to her dress. 'See here! You have
lost a bow. Will anybody be so good as find a ribbon; a cherry-coloured
ribbon?'
It was
the one she had worn at her bosom. We all looked for it; I myself looked
everywhere, I am certain—but nobody could find it.
'Do you
recollect where you had it last, Annie?' said her mother.
I
wondered how I could have thought she looked white, or anything but burning
red, when she answered that she had had it safe, a little while ago, she
thought, but it was not worth looking for.
Nevertheless,
it was looked for again, and still not found. She entreated that there might be
no more searching; but it was still sought for, in a desultory way, until she
was quite well, and the company took their departure.
We walked
very slowly home, Mr. Wickfield, Agnes, and I—Agnes and I admiring the
moonlight, and Mr. Wickfield scarcely raising his eyes from the ground. When
we, at last, reached our own door, Agnes discovered that she had left her
little reticule behind. Delighted to be of any service to her, I ran back to
fetch it.
I went
into the supper-room where it had been left, which was deserted and dark. But a
door of communication between that and the Doctor's study, where there was a
light, being open, I passed on there, to say what I wanted, and to get a
candle.
The
Doctor was sitting in his easy-chair by the fireside, and his young wife was on
a stool at his feet. The Doctor, with a complacent smile, was reading aloud
some manuscript explanation or statement of a theory out of that interminable
Dictionary, and she was looking up at him. But with such a face as I never saw.
It was so beautiful in its form, it was so ashy pale, it was so fixed in its
abstraction, it was so full of a wild, sleep-walking, dreamy horror of I don't
know what. The eyes were wide open, and her brown hair fell in two rich
clusters on her shoulders, and on her white dress, disordered by the want of
the lost ribbon. Distinctly as I recollect her look, I cannot say of what it
was expressive, I cannot even say of what it is expressive to me now, rising
again before my older judgement. Penitence, humiliation, shame, pride, love,
and trustfulness—I see them all; and in them all, I see that horror of I don't
know what.
My
entrance, and my saying what I wanted, roused her. It disturbed the Doctor too,
for when I went back to replace the candle I had taken from the table, he was
patting her head, in his fatherly way, and saying he was a merciless drone to
let her tempt him into reading on; and he would have her go to bed.
But she
asked him, in a rapid, urgent manner, to let her stay—to let her feel assured
(I heard her murmur some broken words to this effect) that she was in his
confidence that night. And, as she turned again towards him, after glancing at
me as I left the room and went out at the door, I saw her cross her hands upon
his knee, and look up at him with the same face, something quieted, as he
resumed his reading.
It made a
great impression on me, and I remembered it a long time afterwards; as I shall
have occasion to narrate when the time comes.
To be continued